Six Feet Under

Two things before I start my review. First off, I love the show Six Feet Under, but no. This isn't my review of the show since this is a movie blog after all. Second, IMDb has a new set up and I like it. Kudos.

So, I had a free rental the other day and I had to get this movie. At first glance, I was like "This looks like a cheesy horror movie." but I noticed it had a stellar cast. I just had to see it. Now, because it's horror, it's got the usual "twists" and "surprise" ending. If you don't want to know too much (And I reveal alot. I'm going to give away the ending. Sorry.) then don't read my review.

The movie is about Anna (Christini Ricci) who "dies" in a car crash and awakens thinking that she is very much alive. The funeral director Elliot (Liam Neeson) tells her that she did indeed die and that he has the gift to talk to the dead and help them transition to the after life.


(picture copyright Harbor Light Entertainment)

Okay, yes, the plot sounds alot like Six Feet Under. It helped me decided this movie was worth using my free rental for. I can't help it. I love when David fists bumps the dead Latino gang leader. Makes me laugh every time. Unfortunately, I think Elliot is a serial killer. No supernatural goings ons in this movie. Now you can say I watch too much Criminal Minds and you'll get no argument from me, but there are so many reasons to lead me to this conclusion. First of all, he does not embalm her body for days. It's because if he did so, he'd kill her. A mortician wouldn't wait as long as he did.

What finally convinced me was the ending when her boyfriend Paul (Justin Long) ended up in the funeral home himself after also getting into a car crash. Elliot ends up trying to tell him that he is dead, but there's no tricking Paul. He was on to Elliot from the start. So Elliot drives a stake through his heart and Paul just so happens to die again. Wait a second. Anna felt no pain when she was "dead" and now Paul is crying out in agony as he dies a second time? I don't think so Mr. Script Writer.

Overall, this is another one of those movies with alot of promise. It had a great cast (Who, don't get me wrong, did a fantastic job.) and a great idea. It just never followed through. Hollywood, please let me write these films for you. I could do so much better. Granted, I do need the extra cash, but I'd be doing it for the integrity of movies today.

I'm a Solid 5.

I can't even remember why when She's Out of My League came out in theaters I wanted to see it. Oh yes. I remember now. Jay Baruchel. He can literally make me pay nine bucks to see any crappy (League), mediocre (Sorrcer's Apprentice), or fantastic (Tropic Thunder) movie.

Yes, I said crappy. This movie... First of all, he's best friend Stainer (T.J. Miller) made me want to pull my hair out. Or his. Miller should never straighten his hair. EVER. That isn't a good reason to dislike this film, I know, but that's just one of those odd things that bugged me. I know, I'm weird.

The movie literally is just about Kirk (Baruchel) who is your every day oridinary guy who ends up scoring a "babe" named Molly (Alice Eve) and no one can believe it, especially him. [SPOILERS AHEAD] He's so innsecure about the match that, of course, he ends up screwing it up therefore leading him to "win her back" at the end of the movie in front of a huge crowd.


(picture copyright Dreamworks Pictures)

Pushing aside all the Hollywood cliches that were jam packed into this movie, it could have been good. It actually had Kirk being a kind, honest, caring guy who would literally make any woman swoon. Trust me. I have alot of friends who would kill to have a boyfriend that nice.

It's main problem is that it trys too hard to be a raunchy comedy a la The Hangover (Which a blurb on the front said it's the funniest comedy since then. Dude, it wasn't that long ago.) but also a romantic chick flick a la [insert chick flick here]. Man, I hate romance movies, so maybe that's what turned me against this film. I don't know. It wasn't completely horrible and I would much rather sit through this than Tideland again.

Oh, and I think that the Baruchel bashing will for now cease now that everyone has seen his ass. Just sayin'.

from IMDb: I'm a straight man and even I think he's higher than a 5. Maybe a 6.

A Magical Place

If you recall, I did mention in my review of his latest film that I am a fan of Terry Gilliam's work. I find that the world's he creates are fantastic and for an hour and a half, I'm taken to that place. So when I sat down to watch Tideland, a film of his from five years back I had never gotten to see, that is what I expected.

Sure, reading the back of the case, I expected it to be depressing. I, however, also expected Jeliza-Rose (Jodelle Ferland) to escape her world to another. I did not get that. Instead, what I got was a pretty boring plotline with too much cringe worty material.


(picture copyright Recorded Picture Company)

[SPOILERS AHEAD] The movie follows Jeliza-Rose on her adventure through early childhood when you have lost both your parents. I knew that her mother Queen Gunhilda (Jennifer Tilly) was doomed from the start, which made me sad. It was a waste of Tilly, who I absolutely love. I was shocked, though, when her father Noah (Jeff Brides) also OD'ed not that far into the movie.

Now this poor girl who has spent her life cooking up heroin for her parents and living above a club, is alone in her grandmother's old house with only the looney neighbors to keep her company. And they are not good company. In fact, they're worse role models for her than her drug addict parents were.

Gilliam let me down due to the scene between Dickens (Brendan Fletcher) and Jeliza-Rose which I am disgusted to even mention in this blog. (So you can guess what happened. Or just look it up if you really need to.) I did enjoy Jeliza-Rose's interaction with her dolls Mystique and the gang, but that could not save this film.

While it was filmed beautifully as was expected from Gilliam, there was too much brutal honesty and not enough of the childlike innocence and fantasty that Gilliam fans have come to expect from him.

Epic Journey for an Epic Movie

Can you believe our movie theater had a power outage and didn't post anything on their website. Nica, Coco and I went to the theater to see Scott Pilgrim and the entire block was out. Thanks alot Movies 14. Luckily for us, we went on a trip and travled the extra 20 odd minutes to the other movie theater in the area and had our fingers crossed a show was coming up soon. We made it about 50 minutes before the next one.

We didn't really think that it would be all for nothing. I personally had high hopes for this film. When I first read about it and that Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) would be directing, I was ecstatic. He did not disappoint. His unique style was perfect for this movie. I loved the old school throw back of the KAPOWS and such during the fight sequences. It just fit perfectly.

However, everyone involved took on a huge thing here compacting six graphic novels into one movie. Alot of characters to deal with, and as I have mentioned in previous entries (see review on Clue) that movies with that many main characters have to really work hard if they want to make it work.


(picture via srahberry.com)

Scott Pilgrim almost did that. The sad thing is that I ended up loving secondary characters way more than the main ones. Sure, Scott (Michael Cera) was your typical lovable nerd. I can't help but love that guy. It's why I keep coming back to these movies. However, Scott was a jerk. He wasn't lovable. Sure, he learned his lesson in the end, but I could have cared less to be honest.

I also was a bit disappointed in Ramona (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). She seemed like she was going to be such a bad ass girl character and I was stoked. Instead, she fell flat. Her character barely had any real dimension and I didn't see why anyone would really risk their life fighting off her evil exes for her "love". Yeah, I was convinced she had no feelings. Sociopath, much? It's of course no insult to Ms. Winstead who I think is an incrediable actress.

I did laugh. Oh, did I laugh. Mostly because of Wallace (Kieran Culkin). His character truly was the best in the entire film. [SPOILERS AHEAD] The scene where they honoured Seinfeld, I was in stiches. That scene also had one of the many wonderful little touches that I loved. I won't give it away even though it contains no spoilers, wouldn't ruin anything for you, etc. Just because I love you that much. You can find this for yourself.

So set aside a few quibbles because let's face it. I always have quibbles. Even about my favourite movies. Those aside now... It was a fantastic movie. This is what you expect for summer entertainment. Okay, so it is action-y, but not like Inception. Which still has a lame ending. I don't care what you say. Oh, and dang Jason Schwartzman's character being named Gideon. All I could think about was Criminal Minds. :D

Summer Is Almost Over

Okay, at the beginning of summer (Well, actually May as I pointed out in the entry.) I wrote an entry about how summer movies are the best way to spend a humid day. (See the entry here.) Some comments on my review yesterday has led me to believe I need to do a follow-up as summer is coming to an end.

Summer movies are usually mindless entertainment, and I do not have anything against that. Even I, the overly critizing fangirl who enjoys movies about nothing, enjoys some mindless entertainment. Especially when my brain is fried due to the heat.

However, as I was watching Inception yesterday I realized that the movies coming out this summer aren't all just action films or chick flicks. Inception, although not lacking in violence and big guns, definitely makes the viewer think.


(picture via blogspot)

An anonymous commenter who I believe may have some conspiracy issues was saying that they couldn't stand this belief that we need to see Inception several times to understand the concept. They're trying to squeeze as much money out of every movie goer as they can. Well, I don't doubt that at all actually. It's always about the money.

But how many people are going to go see a movie several times in theaters? (You ARE NOT allowed to bring up that I went to see (500) Days three times in theaters. That was different.) Wouldn't they just rather go see The A-Team? It's summer. I want to relax. If I'm at home and want to watch a movie, instead of popping in Fetching Cody or The Tracey Fragments, I put in Role Models or Young Frankenstein. Where is the comedy? Judd, come save me.

Dream World

It took me awhile, but I finally made it to see Inception. Granted, I had to walk to the theater, but I saw it. Was it worth it? I'm not entirely sure. I heard it takes a few viewings to really "get it" but I like to think that I'm intelligent enough to have understood it the first time. It did make sense, but I wasn't completely blown away.

It made me happy that I found someone on the boards who wasn't just gushing over this film, though I fear they just don't like action as much as I do. (Read the thread here.) The advertisements for movies just don't make sense anymore. They never explain what the movie is really about. It did not come across as an action film to me.


(picture copyright Warner Bros. Pictures)

However, the movie was dominated by action sequences that ended up, borrowing a phrase from my new friend, repetative minus the ones with Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) fighting in the hotel's hallway. (Which I must say is my favourite part of the movie. Great effects guys. Kudos.) The concept was definitely original and I was interested in the way the characters entered dreams and how they were affected within them.

Unfortunately, once we hit the halfway point, they lost me. No, they didn't lose me because they were going into dreams within dreams. I understood it. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I was lost because it was nothing but them running from Robert's (Cillian Murphy) security. Man, poor Mr. Murphy. I've loved him since I saw Breakfast on Pluto, but Mr. Nolan is cruel to him.

The third Christopher Nolan movie in five years in which Cillian Murphy's character spends a significant portion of his on-screen time with a cloth bag over his head.

His talent was wasted in this movie. Too many main characters that we do not get enough background on anyone except for Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio). I would have loved more an Arthur and Eames (Tom Hardy) who have a history. Maybe some scenes of past jobs instead of an hour of guns blasting?

When it comes down to it, I thought that the concept was fantastic, it was shot well and the actors did a great job. I'm just not an action film fan and therefore it just did not appeal to me. I have to say it again, though. Mr. Gordon-Levitt and zero gravity? It was so awesome!

My Sincere Apologies

I'm quite sorry that I haven't been keeping up with this blog recently. I know that when I did't have a new movie to review or something to do with movies to rant about, I'd at least talk about an older movie. I just haven't been feeling very witty recently.

I've been having a "family emergency" in the most literal sense. I'm not going to go into details, but let's just say that I have other things on my mind. I promise that alot of awesome reviews will be coming up soon. I'm planning on seeing Inception soon and Scott Pilgrim is coming out next weekend. I promise I'll start this blog back up by then.

Until then, I am sorry to those who actually read this (which I know isn't many, but you deserve an explanation) and I hope that some Matthew Gray Gubler and a cute puppy can cheer you up.


(picture via fanpop)

There's a Difference

Today's review comes curtsey of Sonya who suggested this gem. I love when I have to go on an epic quest to get a movie, but sometimes it's worth it. Blockbuster's website did not have Splinterheads, so I ended up asking Coco to rent it on Netflix for me. She was also kind enough to sit down and watch the movie as well.

I knew I was going to enjoy the film to some extent because I have an odd love for anything dealing with carnivals and the many lifestyles revolving around them. (Did I not just mention I read Geek Love a few entries back? Cyeah.) Don't confuse splinterheads with carnies because they'll get mad. They have to honestly work for their money by wrangling in the weakest of the pack. The guy who would spend $20 to win his girlfriend a $2 teddy bear.

The film focusses on Justin (Thomas Middleditch) who gets caught up in the exciting life of a splinterhead named Galaxy (Rachael Taylor) and all the other excentric carnival workers. I know why Sonya loved it so much since Galaxy is into geocaching to keep herself occupied when she's not working the games. Justin ends up going along with her looking for one cache and I have to say it's one of the cutest scenes I've seen in awhile.


(picture copyright Atlantic Pictures (II)

Of course, I loved Christopher McDonald as Bruce just because he's awesome and has mucho indie cred. (SLC Punk, Fanboys, etc.) It seems I have once again found a film where I like the supporting cast just as much as our main players. Not more, though, unlike Vampire's Assistant. Justin and Galaxy are fantastic characters, and I would have loved to see them develop more. The concept is unique and cute though and the movie does not let up on the laughs.

The Dangerous Game

I absolutely adore FEARnet. It's a channel onDemand where you can get free horror movies. Because it's free, you get alot of really cheesy movies. It has however, introduced me to some great movies. (See the entry on Disturbing Behavoir.) Unfortunately, last night, it was not one of the rare gems we ended up watching.

Nica, Matt and I picked Blood Surf (look up Krocodylus on IMDb) since the description made it sound reminicent of The Dangerous Game. We thought some evil dude was kidnapping surfers to swim with sharks for shits and giggles. Turns out we were wrong and they were just filming some movie and didn't want "fake, plastic looking sharks" which of course, the sharks were fake and plastic looking.

The sharks weren't the worst of it though. I'm still debating whether the insane amount of nudity from "women" who I'm sure hadn't hit puberty yet or the "31" foot crocodile who can run impossibly fast yet any shot we get of him, he's lumbering around more than likely because he's being prodded along with a two by four.


(picture copyright Tapestry Pictures)

Yeah, that's the best picture I can find of this clunker. It honestly had no redeeming quality. It was good for riffing, so I guess it had that going for it. However, we've got camerawoman Cecily (Kate Fischer) who's supposedly from Austrila however her accent comes and goes and Lemmya (Maureen Larrazabal) who can't quite remember how old she really is. Oh, and her outfit was very Flinstones with some underwire. Classy, real classy.

I won't lie. I walked away for the middle part, came back and was able to guess right away what had happened. It was predictable because it's like any other horror movie that I suspect was written by a 13 year old boy. I mean, c'mon. Lots of sharp teethed "monsters", several women taking their tops off, guns, explosions, surfing, cursing... It was really bad. There really is nothing else I can say about it.

A Helping Hand

If it's a book series and has vampires in it... it's going to be made into a movie. Thank you very much Twilight craze. You have delivered unto us a living hell. There really only ever was one vampire movie I loved and that would be The Lost Boys. The best has been made; you can all stop trying now.

However, The Vampire's Assistant (the first movie based on the Cirque Du Freak series) wasn't all bad. For someone who reads alot, I have also not read this book, so I cannot compare. At least this time, it isn't a shock. I wouldn't touch books like this with a ten foot pole. Teen series? When kids my age were reading these kinds of books, I had already been introduced to David Sedaris.

Still trolling the boards, there seems to be alot of disagreement on how true to the book the movie stayed. Half say yay and half say nay. Well, I can't add my two cents there, but the movie did keep me interested. I wasn't a big fan of our leading man Darren (Chris Massoglia) at first, but he did kind of grow on me. Just a tad.


(picture copyright Universal Pictures)

I think that John C. Reilly is awesome, hands down. I do have my guilty pleasures and Walk Hard is one of them. He can make me laugh, but now I know that he can also play a (albeit slightly) more serious role. However, his extreme sarcasm had me laughing more than the actual jokes throughout the film. Oh, and of course I loved Evra the snake boy (Patrick Fugit) because I love Mr. Fugit. End of story.

To be honest, I was more fascinated by the freak show than the fight between the vampires and, uh, what were the bad ones called again? I don't even care. It's kind of lame. I would have rathered they made a movie about the freaks. Jane Krakowski was wasted as Corma Limbs, the freak whose limbs could regenerate. Is it creepy that I find this fascinating? I blame reading Geek Love at an impressionable age.

It's obvious that Universal is hoping to have a series on their hand. Let's face it: Every movie released anymore is set up to have at least on sequel. Will I be chomping at the bit to see it? Eh, I'll wait for video. It is definitely entertaining, but it still is vampires. You drink blood. You're sad because everyone you loved died. I get it. It's becoming old really fast.

Dinner Time

Yes, another children's movie. As I have said, I believe that the future in Hollywood lies in these films. The animation is incredible and the stories are so whimsical. Last night I watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and as I let on yesterday, I loved it.

I really wish I had read this book a child. I just know I would have loved it. The story is about an inventor named Flint (Bill Hader) who invents a machine to turns water into food. Due to a bit of a mishap, the machine is launched into the sky which causes it to rain food. I find Hader very funny, but he was not the only one making me laugh.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't stop laughing the whole movie. Anna Faris, even in a cartoon, plays her usual type of character: a girl who is actually smart but can be a bit ditsy. Mr. T as Earl the cop and Bruce Campbell as the Mayor were both surprisingly fantastic. I would never have imagined either of them in a children's movie, but it worked so well.


(picture copyright Columbia Pictures)

Steve the monkey (Neil Patrick Harris) was the best character though. He plays a very small role seeing as how his vocabulary is limited to his name, colours, foods and a few other easy words. Yet, he definitely gets the most laughs. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I knew that there had to be something with the gummi bears as Steve keeps requesting Flint to make some. At the end, when he eats the live gummi bears attacking Flying Car 2, I was in hysterics.

It is a good decade to be a kid. Not that I have anything against the movies I had growing up as a kid (I'll always love you Aladdin!) but I'm a bit jealous of this generation. As much as I dissed the 3D craze, it is making all this animated films come out in alarming rates, yet they are all fantastic. I am eagerly awaiting the next kid's film.

Magically Surprised

I have seriously been slacking on my blog, I know. Don't you fret, though. (My total of 8 followers and any other random person who somehow stumbles upon here.) I watched two movies today, so you get one review now and another tomorrow. Isn't that great news? Oh, and I have spoilers for you. Both reviews are good. So no complaining from me.

Well, there is some complaining. I know I should stop reading the boards on IMDb. People there are ruder than I am. (And I'm pretty dang rude.) Granted, The Sorcerer's Apprentince is not the best film of the year. I enjoyed it though. Don't go to the board's if you're thinking of seeing this film. There are some unbiased and accurate reviews on the main page.

Everyone is mostly saying that the casting choice for Dave (Jay Baruchel) was off. Oh, and that no one can stand his voice. Okay, first of all, I just freaking love Jay Baruchel. I first saw him in Fanboys, and I was in love. I mostly went to see this because he was in it. Would I have seen it if he wasn't? Probably because I love kid films. (Yes, I know I've said it a bajillion times.)


(picture copyright Walt Disney Pictures)

My Mr. Baruchel obsession aside, I think he did a fantastic job. The nerds are taking over the world and he is one of our own! [SPOILERS AHEAD] Well, Dave goes beyond nerd. He actually is smart. I was a bit mad that it was a kid's movie for a bit because they never let him go into much detail concerning his Tesla project. I wanted to know! Science confuses me, and I wanted to learn.

The movie was fast paced, but you can see Dave maturing and getting a hold on his powers. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I highly enjoyed the homage to the Fantasia scene with the mops. It was definitely well done, and I think they truly made it this movie's own with the added danger of the electrical equipment in the room. I also did like Nicolas Cage. I'm still not sure why I like him, but I do. He's got... spunk.

Apprentince is a great family film. While I still think that Pixar dominates children's films, Disney definitely gave it their best shot to counter that. The effects are good, there are a few laughs, and it's an enjoyable story. What else could you ask from a summer flick?

Antihero Wins Again

Yes, I know I rant on and on about how I love a good antihero. It's also common knowledge I absolutely adore children's films. Some of my favourite movies that have come out in the past year were all animated films (Up!, How to Train Your Dragon, etc.) So, needless to say, I went to see Despicable Me yesterday.

While Despicable cannot hold a candle to Up! which is more than likely the most heart wrenching and beautiful movie I have seen in years, it definitely was a gem of a film. I love seeing kid's movies in theaters because there is no better soundtrack than the children's reactions. The whole movie, I could hear giggles galore.


(picture copyright Illumination Entertainment)

The plot could be described as preditable, but what movie doesn't follow the sterotypes of the genre anymore? I still felt that it was a wonderful story for a kid's film, but that's not the best part. Being the nerd I am, I have to rave about the casting. Steve Carell is hilarious, and I can admit this despite hating The Office. I still love him in Little Miss Sunshine; he made that movie. Jason Segel stole the show though as Vector. He had me in stiches.

I loved the animation immensely. Gru's (Carell) house is absolutely brillant. I would love to live there. Not more than the house in Help! but if that's not available for sale when I move out, Gru's house is a good second choice. Of course, I fell in love with Agnes (Elsie Fisher). She's so adorable and has an understanding far beyond her years. Plus, I can't stop saying "It's so fluffy!" thanks to seeing the ads at least 20 times a day.

It seems that the biggest hope for Hollywood these days are children's films, and I'm glad. These movies are even surpassing movies that I grew up with and I can't wait to see more.

Harry Potter's Girlfriend

I love it when I find gems like this. Well, this time half the credit goes to my mother. We were shopping for Father's Days gifts, and by shopping for Dad, I mean we were shopping for ourselves just as much. We found this movie whilst searching the DVD section, and just had to buy it. It starred Tim Curry and Diana Rig, and we were overjoyed at the overall cheesiness on the cover.

Doing a bit of research (as per usual) it turns out this movie (as well as a TV series launched in 1998) is based on a book series by Jill Murphy. The similarities between WW and Harry Potter are so wonderful. Mom and I both shouted at the same time "J.K. totally watched this back in '86." Sure, the whole idea of a witchcraft school wasn't made up by either Murphy or Rowling, but plot wise, it's eerily similar.


(picture copyright Central Independent Television)

I failed to nice when we picked the movie up was that our leading lady Mildred Hubble was played by Fairuza Balk who would go on to play another witch, Nancy in The Craft. Needless to say, most of my riffs were focused on that.

Miss Cackle: So Mildred, what can I do for you?
Mildred Hubble: Miss Hardbroom sent me.
Miss Cackle: Oh dear. What happened this time?
Me: I tried to kill my best friend.

Not that funny, I know. So, the movie definitely was cheesy, no doubt about it. As my dad put it, the effects were very Doctor Who. (Not the new episodes, mind you. David makes a convincing time lord.) The flying sequences were absolutely horrendous; I couldn't stop laughing. I did love it immensely. The songs made me a bit uncomfortable though.

Tim Curry's Grand Wizard ends up singing his own song at the Halloween Bash the school is holding. My mom and I were like, "It sounds like he's making the lyrics up on the spot." At one point, he pulls out a tambourine while singing 'Has anyone seen my tambourine?' Absolutely bonkers. (Watch the video here.)

Of course, Mildred ends up saving the day, despite constantly being disciplined by Miss Hardbroom (Rig) and being teased by fellow classmates such as Ethel Hallow (Anna Kipling). [SPOILERS AHEAD] She manages to put behind her the comments that she cannot perform magic and turns the evil witches planning to overtake the school into snails, and does so in one hour. I felt a bit jipped, but I was glad to see that her adventures continued in the TV series. I'm glad that she wasn't the worst witch for long.

Kids These Days

IMDb is stalking me. Seriously. I pull up the page for Youth in Revolot and the suggestions at the bottom of the page are Adventureland, The Whackness and Running with Scissors. It's stalking me and what movies I watch. Looks like I gotta install a security system on my house.

Oh yeah, so, I did finally get around to seeing Youth in Revolt. Quick review says it was well worth the wait. I'm afraid that I have still not read the book (It's on my ever growing list, I swear!) so I cannot compare it. I found it extremely funny, though. While I don't mind watching raunchy comedies, I usually will laugh my butt off but not fall in love with the film. However, YIR deals with a male teen's look at sex in a more dignified (Is it even possible to use dignified and a horny male teen in the same sentence?) manner.


(picture copyright Dimension Films)

My one problem with the film is that there are so many fantastic minor characters I would have loved to see more of. Fred Willard as Nick's (Michael Cera) neighbor Mr. Ferguson was fantastic in what little screen time he had. Then again, I just might be partial because it's frickin' Fred Willard people! I also enjoyed Nick's best friend Lefty (Erik Knudsen) who had me in stiches. Probably because alot of my friends sound just like him when they pine over the object of their affection.

[SPOILERS AHEAD] I have looked this up on the boards, and I have to feel like my reputation can stay in tact because the whole movie I was convinced that Trent (Jonathan B. Wright) was a fake boyfriend. Apparently in the book, Trent has a much bigger role, but I do enjoy the joke that Nick believed Sheeni (Portia Doubleday) was making up her boyfriend, so he made up an equally ridiculous girlfriend. So, I didn't see that coming, but while the ending does have boy getting girl, I was thourghly satisfied.

I do have to go off on a little tangent, though. (Don't I always?) I should just stop reading the message boards before doing these reviews. Well, at least the threads that are titled I guess name-dropping passes as clever dialogue these days. Everyone is saying things such as this movie isn't believable because teenagers do not talk this way. So, just because we're young we cannot be intelligent? I'm getting seriously tired of this; I get enough of it in real life. Three years ago I was the same age as the character Nick. I definitely am not the brightest bulb, but I was in the top third of my class. I wrote for my school paper. Yet, I also did the usual stupid stuff a teen does. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Granted, I don't listen to Frank Sinatra and I didn't set fire to my mom's car, but that's only because I perfer rock and my mom doesn't drive. Give us kids a chance. We do know what we're talking about and we can make some darn good movies.

Supper Time

Another random movie review today because I'm not feeling paticularly creative, I'm afraid. I saw this movie back when it came out with my family. What better for a slightly dysfunctional family to bond over a movie about an even more dysfunctional family. Am I right?

When Do We Eat? is a fantastic little independent film. It may not be really original because once you've seen a movie about a family fighting, you've seen them all. (Eulogy, Little Miss Sunshine, etc.) I can't help it though. I love them.

The basic plotline is that this family has gathered for a seder, and everybody is mad at everybody. Fighting and chaos ensues. [SPOILERS AHEAD] At one point, Zeke (Ben Feldman) slips his father Ira (Michael Lerner) what he belives to be ecstacy to make the night go a bit more smoothly.


(picture copyright When Do We Eat? Inc.)

Random little rant to stick in here. I love when I do these blogs, and I read the IMDb page for them. Sometimes they're movies I've already seen (and usually multiple times). I end up learning things about the film I didn't know already. I love seeing the company... especially when they made their own company just so they could release their film. We need more gumption like this in the movie industry, or otherwise, we're gonna keep having shitty Hollywood films dominating what people watch these days.

End random rant. Back to review: It is really hard to surprise me with films. I more often than not guess the ending halfway through. WDWE, however, has a surprise ending that blew me away. I know I give more spoilers than I should in this blog, but I will not let anything slip about that. If you do ever get around to watching it, trust me, it is worth it for the end. Sure, the rest of the movie might make you a bit uncomfortable, but you can do it.

WDEW has many laughs, and for a small independent film with a low budget, it definitely delivers. I think it's a good movie to watch on one of these muggy (Ugh, please winter come save me already!) summer days. Oh, and make sure you gather the whole family. This is a movie you should share with them.

Elementary, Dear Reader

Even though I watch more movies than I read books (It's inevitable. Movies only take an hour and a half of my time while books usually take about 10 accumlative hours.) I have to say that I love reading more. It was my first love, and I would spend many a nights up late reading in bed when my mom thought I was sleeping.

I have written about books that have been adapted for film and how I think that sometimes it can work out, though the book version is always better. Today, I'm trying something a tad different. There is this book series that I would just love to see turned into a movie. Strange for me, I know, but I think it would work out and be a hit.

The series is called the Pecular Crimes Unit. A brief little description of the seires taken from author Christopher Fuller's site:

"Bryant & May are a pair of elderly, argumentative detectives who work in London’s Peculiar Crimes Unit... The Peculiar Crimes Unit is a police division founded during the Second World War to investigate cases that could cause public unrest... These men and women were all in their late teens and early twenties, and were encouraged to think in radical new directions... So, many years down the line, my books find Bryant and May past their retirement age, heading a team of equally unusual misfits who are just as likely to commit crimes as solve them. They’re all based above a London tube station, and led by the technophobic, irascible Bryant and smooth-talking modernist John May."

The first book I read from this series was Full Dark House that actually shows Bryant and May's first case together in the PCU, so I didn't get to see the detectives solving crimes way past retirement, although there were snippets of present time throughout the book. I recently finished The Water House which does focus on a current case, and as much as I loved FDH, I was intrigued in a different manner while reading House.

You don't usually see books, shows or movies with main characters that are past the age of 50, at the most. This is obviously due to the fact that most of the target audience is college aged viewers. ('Tis the truth. We no doubt consume the most when it comes to mass media.) We want to read, watch, etc. about characters our age because we can easily relate, but I think that the PCU could become very popular as a movie series.


(picture via christopherfuller.co.uk)

The crimes are definitely peculiar. I have become really good at solving mysteries since I watch more CSI than can possibly be healthy. However, I was kept on the edge of my seat until the very end of House when the killer was revealed and I had no clue up until then who it could have been. The characters are wonderful, especially Bryant. He's an anti-social crumudgeon who is set in his ways, which are very eccentric. He loves consulting with witches and other outcasts on cases and has been wearing the same patched coat since 1945.

So, dear Hollywood: I know you're running out of ideas. Take this. I'm sure Mr. Fuller would love to assit you in bringing the PCU to life. Crime is a big seller in any form of media, and you toss in some fantastic British accents, and you'll be rolling in the dough in no time.

Take a Bite

I know that technically I already wrote an entry today, but I'm counting that as yesterday's. I would have made it if I wasn't so caught up in Dexter. Such is the life of a complete nerd, right?

To pick up from the last entry, Splice had pretty much disturbed me. I was feeling pretty hopeless and was disappointed in movies. I had begun to wonder where all the good movies had gone. Then, I got my next Blockbuster movie in the mail and it was My Boyfriend's Back. I'd been waiting for it for ages, and my friend Sonya had then told me how good it was.

I popped it in, hoping that I could at least get a few laughs. What I got was definitely more than that. It was a fantastic little movie. I'm a sucker for zombie movies where zombies can talk, think and act like normal humans. Of course, because people are afraid that zombies are different, others are zombiest. (Oh yes, I made that word up.)


(picture copyright Touchstone Pictures)

I thought that this type of zombie movie was just starting, but Boyfriend did it back in '93 and they did it wonderfully. There is no explanation of how someone who died can come back besides that said person had something to do and came back on their own accord. Plus, I just love the way that no one is really scared that Johnny (Andrew Lowery) is a zombie really. Only when he eats people.

Actually, his mother (Mary Beth Hurt) is my favourite character for this alone. [SPOILERS AHEAD] She calls the doctor when Andrew won't eat. She tells the doctor "Well, Johnny just died and I'm worried that it made him sick." Then when she finds out he needs to eat human flesh to avoid decomposing more, she kidnaps him a kid from the grocery store. It's wonderfully sublime.

This movie was just what I needed after Splice. It might sound weird that a zombie movie is more heart warming than a scifi movie with cute little clones. (I stand by the fact that baby Dren was super cute.) I have already blogged about how zombie movies can totally be heart warming, though, so it's all good. (See Fido.) I highly recommend this film to anyone who loves zombies and black comedies.

Moral Standards

It's a bit obvious that cinema doesn't have as high of moral standards anymore. All you have to do is pick up a recent National Lampoon movie, and you have a prime example right there. It's kind of sad that it's not really a shock to pop in a movie and have at least sexual references if not a sex scene of some sort. Oh, and you can't forget to throw in a few boobie shots to keep the guys interested. (I'm sorry. And the lesbians. Sorry girls.)

But there is a point where you have to draw the line. While I'd take a horrible scifi movie over the college humour types, Splice crossed that line. I wish I had broken my rules and read spoilers about this film before I went to the theater. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Sure, I saw that part of it's rating included sexuality and nudity, but I was expecting it between two consenting HUMANS.

I was wrong. Oh, was I wrong. Instead, I'm greeted by Clive (Adrian Brody) and Dren (Delphine Chanéac) boinking in the barn. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, let me set the scene up. The only showing of Splice still left at our theater was 9:55 PM. Coco and I enter to see only three other people there. We were just in time for the previews. The first half of the film, the theater is silent. It actually had a good start, too. Plus Dren is adorable.


(picture copyright Gaumont)

Elsa (Sarah Polley) and Clive are two scientists who have been cloning animals with several different types of DNA to discover new cures for diseases. When the company they work for won't let them incorproate human DNA, they do the experiment behind their backs and thus creating Dren. [SPOILERS AHEAD] At first, despite a few minor setbacks, Dren is doing fine. Unfortunately, she isn't happy being locked up. Oh, and she's developed a bit of a thing for "Daddy".

They had already started losing me by this point. I could tell they were going down this road, and I was silently begging them not to. As soon as the barn encounter happened, the total of five people in the audience just began squirming. I could hear sounds of disgust coming from the other viewers. I was thinking "Thank God, I'm not alone."

But yet I feel alone. Only five people. Splice is actually getting quite alot of good reviews. An A- from EW. A total of B average from entertianment magazines. One of the threads on the board called it "one of the top five horror movies of our generation". The movie isn't even horror for crying out loud. The beginning starts with a bang, and then it focusses too much on Elsa and Clive's feeling. C'mon. I want some action! Then I get it in the form of beastiality/incest.

I guess I have to give them some credit. Splice was definitely different, but it was not the scifi kick I was looking for. It felt more like porn since Dren spent a good portion of the film naked and there was a loose plot. Alot of the actual cloning process and parts of the experiment were left completely unexplained and the ending was so open ended that even I was disappointed after everything else that happened. No witty end of the entry today, folks. Just... I'm speechless again. I'd take Gigantic over this even.

What's In a Name

I like naming things. I know I'm a bit odd, but I do enjoy picking out names. As a child, my dolls had some pretty strange names. For instance, there was the Snickerdoodle family. Hey, what can I say? I love those cookies. As I got older, it became picking the coolest names for characters in "stories" that I would write.

I believe that names are really important. A rose by any other name will not smell as sweet. What if roses were called grubs instead? Yeah, it's a pretty gross sounding word, and I don't think I'd want to send my girlfriend grubs.

So where is all this leading to? Very good question. Right now it seems I'm ranting, but trust me, I'm not. Have you ever watched a movie and though "That title has nothing to little to do with the movie and is a bad representation of the film as a whole." I know I have. You would think the film makers would spend time on picking a good title, but sometimes it feels like they are just about to wrap up and go "Yeah, that sounds good enough. Let's go with that."

The best example I can come up with has to be Gigantic. (See review here for all the other complaints about this awful movie.) To give a quick synopsis, enter dude. Dude wants to adopt a baby. Dude meets crazy girl. Crazy girl might breaks his heart, but we aren't really sure. Crazy girl might be pregnant, but we aren't really sure. Dude adopts his baby. Crazy girl might be leaving, but we aren't really sure.

So, uh, what does "gigantic" have to do with all of that? When I first watched the film, I scoured the boards trying to find a reason. I came up empty. Seriously, if you know why, do tell. Or even if you have seen this film and have a theory, I'll accept that as well. I'm just dying to know why the film makers chose this as a title. You can either comment this post or e-mail me. (I'll post the address at the end of the blog.)


(picture via bsgu.edu)

Chosing a name is (well, it should be) a long, thoughtful process. Even if it's just a doll, take your time. You want the name to be perfect. The title of a movie should be simple. I don't think the long, meandering emo song type of titles really work. I want the title to pretty much let me know what the movie is about before I pick it. I guess some people just don't understand that.

Send all explanations of the title "Gigantic" to weezerbizkit@aol.com.

I Fearlessly Predict

It seems to have become a cliche to say that Tim Burton is your favourite director. I hate that: cliche. Why would it be cliche when he clearly is one of the best directors of our time? I grew up with The Nightmare Before Christmas, which is still a fantastic movie. It's not what I would consider his best, however. It is a a very close tie, but today I'm going with Ed Wood.

Like every film I review, there are so many threads on the IMDb board dissing the movie. Yet, these people have no idea what they're talking about. This line comes courtesy of Ziya80. "Tim Burton means color. Also Tim Burton means creativity. Also Tim Burton means eccentric characters."

Well, my first complaint is that they're offended that this movie is shot in black and white. This decision is stupendous. The movie is chronicling a period of director Ed Wood's life during the 1950's. All his movies during this time period were shot in black and white, and it captures the time period perfectly.


(picture copyright Touchstone Pictures)

I think I'm more exasperated at the fact that the "characters" in the movie aren't "eccentric" enough for Ziya. First of all, this is a movie based on real life. I have watched several documentaries on Wood's life, and I have to admit that Burton kept the story mostly true. Only one person's attitude was altered a bit and a few non-important facts were changed.

Truth truly is stranger than fiction. Wood's life and the people he surrounded himself with were crazy. His entourage included actor Bela Lagosi, TV personality Vampira and Swedish wrestler Thor Johnson. His movies are definitely some of the worst ever made, but you have to admire his tenacity. He never gave up on his dream of becoming a great director like Orsen Welles.

This movie is incrediably interesting whether you're a "fan" of Wood's or not. His life is fascinating and you can't help but feel sorry for him that he just wasn't very good. It's also great whether you're a fan of Burton's or not. Sure, it's not like most of his other films, but I like him best when he strays from the cliche idea of what a Burton film has to be. As Criswell would say, "I fearlessly predict that you will love this movie."

Do Over

It was a rainy day here in NEPA. As soon as I woke up, I was greeted by the rain pounding down and the sky still as grey as when I had gone upstairs. So I decided it was a movie marathon kind of day. I ended up watching the Dawn of the Dead remake, and I realized that I have yet to do an entry on remakes. We can't have that, now can we?

I have obviously touched based on remakes in a few other entries. For instance, I complained about the horror movie remakes that are being made fast than you can say "Leatherface" these days. Then I continued that complaint in my review of the new Nightmare on Elm Street.

It's not just horror movies that are in trouble though. Hollywood has just run out of ideas and continues to steal good (and okay, not so good) movies to "update" which basically means more guts and more nudity. Well, at least pretaining to horror and action movies. If they remade Gone With the Wind, I doubt there would be guts. Definitely nudity, though. Then again, it is set during a war. There are alot of guts in a war.

The point is, a movie shoudn't be remade just to use the new technology for effects. It should be that you want to put your own little spin on it. Take the Dawn of the Dead remake, for example. It's the only remake of a Romero film that I like because I am very picky about the reworkings of some of my favourite films. However, James Gunn gave his own little twist in the script. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Basically, he took the main plotline of the survivors going to the mall, but he added a few characters, a zombie baby and pretty badass busses.


(picture copyright Strike Entertainment)

Unfortunately, alot of other remakes are the original movie with computer graphics, actors who are conventionally "better looking" and a slightly punched up script. Frankly, it's getting really damn annoying. They'd be better off pulling a Lost Boys and making a sequel 20 years after the fact instead. At least then you are writing somewhat original material. I know I could never write a movie script, and I should chastize Hollywood when I don't know how hard it is. But it's your job people. Learn to be a bit creative, even if you're just adding a few new ideas to something old.

Summer Is Here

Well, technically the actual first day of summer isn't for a couple more weeks. Heat wise, it's definitely summer already. It's hit 95 here several times... during May. Ugh, I hate summer weather. I truly do. There is something about summer that I don't hate, though. Summer movies. Letting me near a movie theater during the summer... it's like letting a kid loose in a candy store.

Usually there is at least five movies that I wouldn't mind seeing. I'll end up killing two birds with one stone and frequent the drive in as well as the local theater. However, this year, there really is only one movie I'm interested in seeing. This makes me sad. What else is there to do during the summer besides watch over priced movies in an over air conditioned arena?

Everything that's coming out this year kind of looks disappointing. It's nothing but remakes, sequels and more fricking Twilight. I'm obviously not interested in that and I think the 80's want their crappy movies and TV shows back.

There is some hope, though. That hope comes in the nerdtastic form of Scott Pilgram vs the World. Following up the success of Kick-Ass, Scott is another movie based on a little known graphic novel. (It's actually mentioned by the characters in Kick-Ass when discussing novels they like.)


(picture via blogspot)

I'll be honest: I haven't read the novel. I'm not big into comic books and graphic novels. My dad almost had to twist my arm to read Maus. I did enjoy it, but I'm still not totally into it. The only comics I read as a kid were Archie. My nerdiness comes from other sources. I'll kind of feel lame if I go and buy it now to read right before the movie comes out.

The concept sounds hilarious, though, and I am definitely looking foward to this movie. The tagline on IMDb is "An epic of epic epicness." I really hope that it lives up to that. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to go see The A-Team just so I can see a summer movie that delivers. Lord help me.

King of the 80's

I have already discussed who I believe was the King of the 90's. The title going to, in case you've forgotten, Mr. Devon Sawa. Now let's take it back another decade (now entering an era before my time) and crown the King of the 80's. There is definitely no question here: it has to be John Cusack. If I chose anyone else, well then, I'd have to say I was crazy. (Well... crazier than I already obviously am.)

I have declared today 80's Day. I had nothing better to do, and I needed to pop in a movie that was funny. A laugh was what I needed on this unbearably muggy bust of a Saturday. So, naturally, I went with Better Off Dead. It wasn't as popular as other movies from this decade, but it's my favourite John Cusack film. You know, even if he kind of refuses that he ever made it.


(picture copyright A&M Films)

[SPOILERS AHEAD] Granted, it was a strange little film. Lane's (Cusack) best friend Charles de Mar (Curtis Armstrong) carries around a pig fetus in a jar and snorts snow since "you can't get real drugs" in Greendale. Oh, and you can't forget that Lane's mother (Kim Darby) cooks some pretty strange things throughout the movie including a live octopus and crawling green goo with raisins.

It's this wonderful blend of ridiculous characters that makes this movie the perfect cure if you need a laugh. I would take BOD over Say Anything any day. I actually hate that movie. (Another little movie secret you guys are treated to.) Sure, it's a classic, but I can't stand it. It's just another typical teen movie that I get sick of five minutes into it. I can't stand Sixteen Candles either. It should really go without saying. There, I said it! It's good to get that off my chest.

Cusack started out doing these teen films, and that's how he became famous. Now he's gone on to a very successful film career. He's doing films that don't include singing hamburgers, and I'm happy for him. He is an extremely talented actor. That's not why he's King of the 80's, though. Sure, he did show promise in his earlier movies. He's king, though, because survived the big hair and synthesized music.

Fifty Laughs

First, a bit of a follow up from yesterday. I did a Google search for "donner party zombies" and this article came up. It's about the movie I mentioned in yesterday's entry. The person who wrote the article is a horror fan who enjoyed the film and described it as "disturbing yet accurate" of a film. Just thought I'd share that. (No, no films with the Donner Party and zombies. Sorry.)

Today I offer you a review of a Lou Taylor Pucci movie. Yes, I know that you won't accept my rave review of any of his movies now that you know I love him, but give it a chance. I promise you this review is totally unbiased. Granted, I did rent the movie because he was in it (amongst alot of other fantastic actors) but at the time, I didn't think it would be all that good.

It's a straight foward comedy, which, I usually tend to stay away from unless it's big budget. Odd, I know, but you don't really hear too much from independently made comedies and let me tell you why: they usually suck. I rented it hoping maybe for a couple laughs at that. It isn't a fantastic movie, but it definitely was better than I expected.


(picture copyright Coalition Film)

It was really hard to find a picture from this movie. It was very low budget, and it's definitely noticable from the way it's shot. I could say that it adds to the charm of the film, but it doesn't really. It doesn't bug me, though. [SPOILERS AHEAD] What bugs me more is that Seoul Man (Ron Yuan) is the drug dealer in town, and Petunia (Monica Keena) buys her drugs from Darren (Pucci). I understand that they needed a way to introduce Seoul Man and then neatly tie the movie together.

Other than that, there isn't that much of a plotline. Darren has to sell fifty pills of ecstacy to earn enough money to continue going to college. Throw in a kinda lame love story, and you have Fifty Pills. Yeah, it sounded lame to me too. It does deliver on laughs, though. Coco and I were laughing our butts off throughout the whole movie. It's not Pucci's (or anyone else involved) best work, but we all need a laugh with no strings attached once in awhile.

In It Until the End

My dad and I always say the same thing when we sit down with a crappy low budget horror flick we have rented: "And if it's that bad we can always turn it off." We never end up turning it off. He may end up falling asleep and I may end up coming and going as I please, but we never turn it off.

I'll be honest. In my entire lifetime, I cannot remember turning a movie off because it was bad. I have sat through so many awful movies and not once have I left a movie theater and demanded my money back. (Even if I did ever leave, I wouldn't demand my money. I'm too nice.)

The closet I came to not seeing the end of a movie was actually a misjudgment of time. Coco and I were watching Art School Confidential. We thought we would have enough time to fit the whole movie in before she had to go to work, but we were wrong. When she returned from her shift, her mom had taken the movie back to the store. Months later, we ended up renting it again and actually watching the end. (Bit of a disappointing ending, but we did it.)

So, it's obvious I go out of my way to give a movie every single chance it has. It maybe be at the 100 minute mark on a 104 minute movie, but I'll still be thinking "It might redeem itself in those four minutes." It's weird since I'm so cynical and when I put that movie in, I say "If it's bad, I could turn it off."

I have a confession to make, though. Tonight, I actually did the unthinkable. I turned a movie off. Well, it wasn't just my decision. We did it democratically. We all voted to fast foward, see if there were any good bits, and then turned it off. We being my dad, Nica, Matt and I. The movie being The Donner Party. Not my choice at all. Dad picked it up because Crispin Glover was in it. Unfortunately, it stayed incrediably accurate to the real life story.

I was hoping that they would have taken some liberities... spice the dialogue up a little. Maybe thrown in some Donner zombies. Or a radioactive bear. I'm not picky. (That one made them laugh. At least the movie brought us some fun.) After about 18 minutes of agonizing set up, that's when we started searching for the parts where they ate people. Are we sick, or what?


(picture copyright Flash Games)

It does pain me to say that I didn't give this movie a chance, but even for me, it was boring. I do send my apologies to the members of the Donner Party. I'm sure you weren't expecting a boring movie to be made out of the horrible situation. You probably would have rathered some zombies too, I know. The sad thing is, there probably is a movie out there like that. What's even sadder is that I'm going to check into that.

Man's Best Friend

I believe I mentioned Fido when I did my entry on zombie films. I was watching it again today with friends who hadn't seen it. (And aren't as big zombie nerds as I am.) So I go off on my own little rant about how alot of the early zombie movies are all the same (not that I don't like them) and then in the late 80's, people began to get some unique ideas. Plus they added a dash of humour.

Thus the genre of the zombedy was born. Since this revamp of the zombie movie, there are so many awesome different takes on the zombie. Fido is definitely one of my favourites. [SPOILERS AHEAD] The movie is set in an alternative universe when the zombie apocalypse takes place around the 1930's. Fast forward to the 50's, and we're living in a world were Zomcom's zombie collars control zombies to not eat humans. In fact, they're able to do menial jobs like deliver the paper. Oh, and they even work great as servants.


(picture copyright Lions Gate Films)

Yes, the movie is obviously a bit of a satire. This theme of zombies coming into a world where they are looked down upon as less than human has been in quite a few films recently. I think that Fido handles it perfectly, and the time period definitely helps. It's right before (in our actual universe) the civil movement. Maybe in ten years times, zombies will rise up and not take this any more.

You can speculate on that, but the entire movie isn't taken over with deep messages about how we are mean to our fellow man. (Whether he be alive, dead or undead, for that matter.) It still is quite humourous. [SPOILERS AHEAD] When Helen (Carrie-Ann Moss) goes to kill Roy (Aaron Brown) she is using the revolver that was concealed in her handbag. However, she ends up shooting nine rounds into him. (Obvious overkill since a handgun can only hold six rounds.)

The movie is also wonderfully heartwarming. Timmy (Kesun Loder) forms a bond with his zombie, whom he loving names Fido. (Billy Connelly) [SPOILERS AHEAD] After the Zombie Wars, many people refused to let emotions get in the way because when it came time to pull the trigger, it would be too difficult. Timmy proved, though, that expressing friendship could civilize the zombies, and be much more helpful against a horde of zombies in the end than a gun.

It is kind of odd to call a zombie movie heartwarming. We're just getting used to calling them funny. (And we mean intentionally funny, not "so bad I laughed" funny.) It is true, though. Fido just makes you feel all fuzzy inside by the end. If you do not have a smile on your face, then I'd say you're not human. Not a zombie either.

Creepy Crawlies

My mom and I have started making our way through the Firefly series. We share a love for science fiction that just isn't satisfied these days. There used to be alot of good shows on SciFi, but now it's 20 different Staregate spin offs and, if you're lucky, one of the original movies will come on once in awhile.

So, we love Nathan Fillion. He's pretty much the man, I think it's safe to say it. We have already seen Serenity (so much of Firefly is kind of spoiled for us, but we're loving it anyway.) and of course who couldn't love him as Captain Hammer from Dr. Horrible. So much Mr. Fillion put me in the mood to watch my favourite movie of his again. It's been awhile since I last watched it since most of my friends think it's dumb.

They are wrong, of course, because I'm always right. And I say that Slither is a fantastic scifi movie. Now, most people call it horror. I mean, even the case has a blurb that says "A wickedly fun horror flick!" (Yeah, I got up to check that.) Okay, I'll admit there are "zombies". Sort of. Not exactly.

(picture copyright Gold Circle Films)

[SPOILERS AHEAD] The whole premise is that an astroid from outer space (reminiscent of The Thing) crashes to earth and then the monster choses a host, who unfortunately, is Grant Grant. (Michael Rooker He impregnants Brenda (Brenda James) who ends up "giving birth" to a bunch of slug creatures who then turn people into "zombies". (reminiscent of Night of the Creeps except those zombies actually ate human flesh.)

The monster is from space, so I'm gonna say it's a scifi movie. And a darn good one at that. There are alot of great tips of the film makers' hats to classic horror movies, as I have mentioned. It's also got a wonderful, sarcastic sense of humour to it. Alot of the one liners from Cheif Bill Pardy (Fillion) have me chuckling every time. Oh, and I always crack up at Mayor Jack MacReady's (Gregg Henry) little rant about there being no Mr. Pibb.

The movie is a bit gory for scifi, so I can see why it might get classified as horror. My mom definitely won't watch it. She hates blood and guts. When we saw Zombieland she was going "Ew!" next to me during the opening credits. So those with weak stomachs, beware. However, that aside, it's a great little film. Not really original, but it has charm. I like that. There is nothing wrong with giving a bit of a spin on a story we already know. As long as you have Mr. Fillion... I'm in.

Tomato Soup

If you hadn't figured this out already, I watch alot of television. I wasn't surprised to learn the average American watches at least 3 hours of television without interruption. Yeah, I can easily do that. Alot of that time is dedicated to my crime shows, but I watch alot of clip shows too.

Now if you don't know what I'm talking about, the best example would be The Soup on E! The original clip show revamped about six years ago, it has spawned many others such as The Dish, Tosh.0 and The Rotten Tomatoes Show. RT started as a website dedicated to movie reviews. Ripe tomato equals good. Rotten tomato? Bad, obviously. Then a show version was started on the station current_. Sorry if you don't have super awesome cable like me. It sucks to be you.

It is a hilarious show. They begin with new movie reviews. I take their (more often than not cynical) advice very seriously when I'm going to the movies. (Other people I trust is the curmudgeon who writes for Diamond City and Lisa Schwartzbaum.) Plus they also do Top Five countdowns for... well, pretty much everything.



I was actually just watching the sci-fi special. Top Five Best Futures. Number one was in Back to the Future 2 basically just for the hover boards. Man, I totally forgot about that. Now I want a hover board. They've got the same crazy sense of humour as I do. I remember when the latest Harry Potter movie was coming out, host Brett had an HP movie marathon since he "never saw them before". (If he works for a movie show, you know he has.) This line had me in stiches: "Wow. I made it to the fifth movie, and there is finally the first bit of action!"

So, if you have current_, I hightly suggest you check it out. Not just RT, though. Yeah, I'm focussing on that since this is my movie blog, but the channel is basically the channel version of my Mass Media Literacy course. Young journalists with lots of entertaining shows that poke fun at everything dealing with the media as well as very informative shows with investigator journalism. It's good for you, I promise.

Keeping Up with the Competition

One thing I learned from Mass Media Literacy (besides that Dr. E despises Disney and Ryan Seacrest) is that when a new form of mass media is introduced, it tramps the previous top dog. The only exception being magazines. They never really were the top form of mass media. Sad, really. I do enjoy a good magazine. (Read Bust. It's fantastic.)

When television started to gain popularity in the 1950's, the movie industry was in trouble. Television was free. (Yes, there was a time when the popular shows weren't on special channels you have to pay $50 extra for.) The country would much rather sit at home and watch something in their living room than pay (I'm basing this guesstimate on stories from my gram) 50 cents to go to the movies.

This is why we see alot of television formats being turned into the plot lines of movies, and also, tying into another of my entries, movies based entirely on certain TV shows. This is still the case because we are going through another tough time in the country. Money is a bit tight, and it can be quite pricey going to the movies. ($6.50 alone for a matinee showing? Harsh.)

So why, then, has there not been a movie about forensics? Cop shows have been huge for decades, and there hasn't been a lack of cop movies out. However, in 2000, CSI: Las Vegas took the country by storm. Forensic shows have become incredibly popular, so much so that two spin offs of Vegas were born. (New York and Miami.) It would be the logical next step to have a movie based around crime scene investigators. Hell, I know I'd go see it. I'm obsessed with CSI. I'm horrible at science, but I find it extremely fascinating.

I was just reading an article on Las Vegas's tenth season. Unfortunately, Wendy (Liz Vassey) will not be returning next season since her contract was not renewed. This is devastating to me since I lived for the awkward "romance" between her and Hodges. (Wallace Langham) It was, though, what had me thinking that it's amazing that this show is going into it's tenth season, and they never made a movie based on it or a forensics movie in general.


(picture copyright CBS)

As much as I whined that I was upset at the possibility of a Skins movie, I would actually love to see a CSI one made. The show is kind of running out of ideas. Some of the episodes during season nine made me cringe they were so ridiculous. I mean... a panty convention? Really CBS? Maybe a movie is what they need to rejuvenate the series. The article did say they wish to squeeze a couple more seasons out of the show. I hope they can do it, honestly. Oh, and stop firing my lab rats. I love them.

First is the Worst

I know, I know. I missed another day. I have a legitimate reason, though, I swear. I just got season 2 of CSI on DVD. I spent the whole day watching it. Made it through the first three discs. Oh yeah. I'm in heaven.

Okay, so I think by now you should realize that I am a nerd. 100% fangirl. Damn proud of it. Not ashamed to shout it. So I'm going to tell you a little secret, but you are not allowed to tell anyone else: I kind of like sequels. *GASP*

Yes, sequels are usually frowned upon, and I will admit, it's for good reason. Sequels most often do not live up to their originals. There are very few that do and even a select few more that surpass their predecessor. In my opinion Shrek 2 is definitely better than the first one. Yet, you will have people who will argue that you could never make a movie that's better than the first no matter what.

I more times than not would agree with them. I might enjoy sequels, but the first usually is the best. For example, I love the Scream trilogy. Actually, scratch love. I am obsessed with the Scream trilogy. I've watched it countless times. The first one was one of the most original horror movies ever. It scared the crap out of me as a kid. Cell phones were just starting to get popular. I didn't know anyone who owned one. I was terrified until we got caller I.D.

(Random fact: The sales of caller I.D. increased 97% after Scream came out.)


(picture copyright Dimension Films)

Sure, the other two films never did quite pass the first one. [SPOILERS AHEAD] The other killers couldn't even begin to be as crazed and creepy as Billy. (Skeet Ulrirch) He's really good at doing psycho, you gotta hand it to him. Another reason they aren't as good could be that when you have a legend with a killer that can be, um, killed... It's kind of hard to make a sequel. You have to figure out who picks up where the last one left off, why they would, how do they know Sidney. They did do it, though it is a bit far fetched when it all comes together in the third film.

So, we all complain when a sequel is made to our favouite film. We all groan and say "It won't be as good as the first." And I'd agree that 9 times out of 10 it'll suck. 2 times it'll be pretty good and maybe, just maybe 1 time it'll actually be better than the original. So forget the preconception about sequels and give them a chance. For me, your favourite fangirl.

Drain the Lagoon

I'm trying to get back into the habit of blogging everday. I think I'm doing a good job, eh? Even though I'll admit it's another day that I have no idea what to say. I haven't really been renting movies as often as I usually would be during the summer. I did recall eventually that I did rent this crazy little film. It had been in my que online for ages, and it finally came the other week.

When I say crazy... I mean, it was pretty silly. It was called Creatures from the Pink Lagoon. (So I browse the gay section on Blockbuster.com. Sue me.) Very low budget. Very DIY ethic. I don't think many people have seen it besides the families of the people involved and me and Coco. It doesn't even have one thread on it's message board on IMDb. That's pretty obscure.


(picture copyright Seattle Theatre Project)

I really wanted to like it. Honest. However, I just wasn't feeling it. The movie is meant to be set in 1967, and for the most part, they did a pretty good job. Only one character, Randall (Philip D. Clarke), was wearing clothes that did not fit the time period. I can live with that.

There were plenty of other mistakes, but they were the kind that you learn to love when you watch alot of cheesy movies. [SPOILERS AHEAD] At one point, you see one of the giant mosquitos bite Bobby (Bill Morrison) and you can obviously see the string. Things like that warm my heart... not make me dislike a film.

Yet, I couldn't really get into it. The character development left more to be desired especially considering the film only clocked in at about an hour long. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I can understand they wanted to keep it short like classic horror movies from the time period. I could tell they wanted us to feel sorry for Phillip (Nick Garrison) since his boyfriend Bobby was cheating on him, but instead I just felt annoyed. He acted like he had no idea, but everyone knew it. Ugh, just admit it already!

It was worth a few laughs. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I did chuckle when Stan (Lowell Deo) realized that playing Judy Garland would cure all the zombies because "no queen can resist Judy". However, I wouldn't say it was worth renting. It's ultra hard to find, and online it was listed as "Really Long Wait" for about five months before I got it in the mail. I would suggest if you want a good gay horror/comedy, you rent Psycho Beach Party instead. That movie is absolutely fantastic. Charles Busch as Detective Monica Stark is brillant. No awesome drag queens in Creatures. There's yet another strike. Ah well. They all can't be winners... or losers for that matter.

Smokin' Hot

I know I missed another day. Turns out that toothache was much worse than I thought. Now I'm on antibiotics which never really agree with me. Anyway... it's time for a movie review! One of my favourite movies because I need to think happy thoughts. You know how in my review of Clue I said that it's hard to have alot of main characters without one person stealing the show or getting confusing? Clue did it well, but there is another movie that I think managed it even better.

That movie of course is 200 Cigarettes. Ah, what a fantastic film. You know it's good when Casey Afleck is in it, and I can pretend for an hour and a half that he's a good actor. Seriously. Have you ever seen Lonesome Jim? He makes me want to smash my head against the table. Yet, even he does a great job as the punk with a heart of gold. However, his storylines aren't the best in my humble opinion. (Which is what you're reading, so get used to it being shoved down your throat.)


(picture copyright Dogstar Films)

[SPOILERS AHEAD] Lucy (Courtney Love) and Kevin (Paul Rudd) provide the perfect angsty love story. They're really close friends who are afraid to admit they have feelings for each other. Just as they're about to get together, Kevin's ex-girlfriend Ellie (Janeane Garofalo) comes back into the picture. Don't fret folks. They do get together in the end. It's heart warming.

Though, the best part of the movie is Elvis Costello. No, I just don't mean that the movie has a killer soundtrack. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I mean the fact that he plays himself, and he actually goes to Monica's (Martha Plimpton) party. You know, right after she passes out drunk thinking no one is coming. God, every time I watch this movie, I feel really sorry for her. Yet, I can't help laughing. Alot.

It's just a fun movie with great humour, great music and a seriously great cast. You know, with Casey Afleck aside. (Yes, I do hate him that much.) The title unfortunately has nothing to do with them smoking 200 cigarettes throughout the film. Lucy buys Kevin a carton of cigarettes for his birthday which, of course, is 200 cigarettes. I wish the myth that they smoked that much was true. I lost count after about 60 cigarettes. Maybe you can watch it and count yourself.

Creepy Masks, Creepy Fun

I have a toothache, and it is driving me crazy. I can't really think straight. It was bad enough sitting still through a whole movie, but I was literally riveted to the spot for the first time in awhile that I kind of forgot that my tooth was in extreme pain.

The movie I was watching was Carriers (finally). I have been dying to see this movie since I saw the ad where the main characters are wearing those creepy masks. Man, that alone scared me.


(picture copyright Paramount Vantage)

The movie is not a horror film. I guess you could make a strech and call it thriller, but then again, I never was good at genres. I call everything I listen to "alternative". It did make me jump a few times, but this movie isn't out to scare you. It isn't out to warn you. I don't even think you could really call it a study of how people would act in this type of situation.

Carriers mainly is just a story. This is what happens to these four people who are forced together during this epidemic and how they cope with the world around them. Simple. I like it. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I sat here and read the boards where people are complaining that it was left open ended. That the virius is never explained or even named. Can't people just sit and enjoy a movie for what it is without a backstory? In real life, you don't always know how something started.

Okay, maybe I just liked it because I'm a huge Lou Taylor Pucci fan (as you know). I'm just glad that he was in a movie that is getting alot of attention. It's about time he's recognized. The film was decent enough. I'm not saying that it's my favourite film now. As I said in my post about Legion, I'm not huge on "end of the world" type films anyway. Usually it is due to the self rightous message. "Oh, you looted this store to survive. Now you must die because that's wrong." Spare me.

Then again, it might just be the masks. A smiley face with a tongue sticking out? Vampire teeth? They're just so damn cheerful... It's creepy. It does fit in with the ultimate rule in Zombieland: Enjoy the little things. If the world was ending, I'd be cracking jokes to keep from going crazy. I'm still sure I'm having nightmares with cheery face masks tonight, though.

Short and to the Point

I've been missing another two days, I know. I had much bigger fish to fry (a.k.a. geeking out over the season 5 Criminal Minds finale). I'll be honest, I didn't even have any idea of what to blog about those two days anyway. I used the excuse of being busy, but I wouldn't have known what to write if I had sat down at the computer anyway.

So I was thinking about it today. I ended up watching some of the songs from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog earlier. I pretty much consider that a short film despite being orginally released in three parts online. It was eventually released on DVD (which I, of course, own). It did help me think of a topic for today.

There are not enough short films out there anymore. Well, okay. Let me rephrase that. There are probably hundreds of short films made in the United States alone, but they are barely advertised. Back when I actually watched the Academy Awards, I always hated when they gave out the award for Best Short Film. I had never even heard of any of the nominees. I'd be like "Who cares?"

And it's really sad because no one really cares. Recently, I've gotten into short films again thanks to LOGO. They have a great program where they show short films make by gay directors. Not all of them are fantastic, but it's nice to know that someone out there is willing to give these films a shot at some recognition. You would think that with the instant availability due to the Internet that an exact opposite would be happening and short films would be becoming more popular.

Unfortunately, unless you count the few successes such as Dr. Horrible, short films are losing. I have decided now that I'm going to do more on my part to find short films instead of waiting for them to come to me. Maybe then if I ever decide to actually watch the awards again, I'll know what they're talking about. It is always nice to have an opinion.

Singin' a Tune

I have a soft spot for musicals. I love them. The classics, the bizarre, the independents... There is just something so whimsical about them, even if they deal with more serious subject matter (see Sweeny Todd). This entry is going to be a bit different than all previous ones.

Why? Well, I just want to briefly talk about a dream of mine. A dream where one day we will live in a world where you can break out in song or dance (or both) and everyone will join in. They'll already know the lyrics and the moves. It will be glorious.

The only thing I need to do to make this dream a reality is find out how random passerbys suddenly know exactly what I'm going to sing about. They have to know the tempo of the song. Oh, and they definitely have to be able to harmonize with me. How do the people in musicals do it? I guess in this alternate realities, everyone can telepathically communicate.

That has to be the answer. There is just no other way about it. So, now that is my goal in life. Find a way to make it so that people can communicate telepathically. Oh, and also be as good at making up lyrics on the spot as Wayne Brady. Because I'm not going to write all these songs off the top of my head when I'm walking around town.

The Best For Last

DVDs have allowed us rot our brains even more with hours of extra footage, and do I love every minute of that brain cell killing footage. Sure, I watch the extra features sometimes. Horror movies are the best for how they do the make up. So I have a bit of an obsession with fake blood? So what?

Though, I hate when I look into the special features and see "Alternative Ending". Why? Because it always seems that I actually end up liking that ending better than the one the director went with. (Usually to aquire a paticular rating.) I have already sort of dealt with this in my review of Disturbing Behavior when I said that a line in the alternative ending should have been left in the film. It fit the sarcastic overtone of the rest of the movie.

Today, I was watching Night of the Living Dorks with my dad again. I remembered that the first time I watched it, I did end up looking at the features, including the other ending. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Throughout the whole movie, they talk about the upcoming summer dance, but we never see that. In the other possible ending, there is a huge confrontation between characters at said dance. It's a bit more dramatic than the ending that eventually was used in the film.

Not that I dislike the ending. I think it's pretty good, but when you have an over the top movie that already clearly has an R rating, why else would you cut out an ending that fits better? Especially when it is blatently obvious that in this example, the "alternative" one was actually the original. Why else would we spend time discussing the dumb summer dance, then?

So now, if I end up watching the special features on a DVD, I don't watch alternative endings. Deleted scences are fair game, though sometimes I end up yelling at my television because of those too. I understand that alot of ideas are going to end up being cut out so impatient people like me don't have to sit through a four hour movie. I just wish that the best ending was the first choice, not the last.

Side Show Steals Show

When I first read about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, it was before Heath Ledger's untimely death. I was overly excited to see it because I was (and am) not only a huge fan of Ledgers, but also of Terry Gilliam and fantasy movies. It is hard to find good fantasy these days. The last good one I saw was another Gilliam effort starring Ledger (The Brothers Grimm), but Imaginarium was just what I needed.

If you did not know, Ledger passed away during the filming of the movie. Soon, the film was getting more press than it probably would have. Everyone was waiting with baited breath to see what would happen with the last footage starring Ledger would bring. I was apprehensive how the movie would turn out since everything I read made it seem like there hadn't been much shot. Then Gilliam brought in three other actors (Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell) to finish Ledger's role. I was afraid it would going to turn into Plan 9 From Outer Space.

However, Gilliam managed to pull it off. Imaginarium was not absolutely brillant, but it delivered. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Doctor Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) has the ability to let people into his mind or the imaginarium where their wildest dreams come true. This allowed the last Tony (Ledger's character) scenes to be easily played by other actors. Three different people's worlds have different versions of Tony's and it works perfectly.

[SPOILERS AHEAD] Unfortunately, I felt that the ending would have been different if not for this unfortunate turn of events. Tony probably would have been redeemed, but instead he ends up continuing with his old ways and is killed by an angry mob when they discover he stole money from his charity. The ending ends up being bittersweet since Valentina (Lily Cole) and Anton (Andrew Garfield) end up together and away from the crazy world of the doctor.

You really have to use your imagination to watch this film. It doesn't take much to be taken away in Gilliam's world and you totally buy that all these men are Tony. It was a devestation that Ledger passed away because he was a talented actor, and I know that he would have went on to make many more brillant films. R.I.P. Heath Ledger

Speechless

Yeah, I didn't know what to even title this entry. I watched Gigantic today, and the movie left me completely speechless. I felt completely cheated by what could have been a fantastic film that instead became what I saw as a combination of two movies that had no business being together.

I should have listened to Lou when she said it wasn't worth my time. I've been watching alot of movies recently that are a waste of good talent. I honestly love Paul Dano. He was fantastic in Little Miss Sunshine. You have to be to convey so much emotion without talking for more than half the film. Then, his role in Explicit Ills was so heartbreaking. He made that movie for me.

[SPOILERS AHEAD] Then he goes and plays Bryan who I'm not sure if he's either shy or out going. Then he starts seeing a homeless man (Zach Galifianakis - Yeah I was surprised too.) who is constantly beating him up. Other characters acknowledge his injuries, but then near the end of the film Bryan "kills" the homeless man, and then the body is no longer there. Is Bryan skitzophrenic? How in God's name did he pass the inspections to adopt a child?

This was the only plotline that ended up going nowhere either. [MORE SPOILERS AHEAD Happy (Zooey Deschanel) sort of screws things up with Bryan. She gets sick when he tells her he was approved to adopt a baby. She skips his party and while they're talking about that, she doesn't drink. She goes to his apartment to apologize and starts to say "I'm..." when she is rudely interrupted by his family. Okay, I kind of figured out for myself that she was probably pregnant, but then they just end the film with that. C'mon! I want to know: does she keep the baby? Abort? Do they stay together?

Even the saving graces of this film John Goodman and Edward Asner (the fathers of our two barely developed characters) couldn't save the film. They provided some laughs, but in the end were portrayed as nothing but politically incorrect old men. Seriously? Oh, and what's up with the title? What is gigantic? The disappointment at the end of the film?

I should start writing these films. Here's how I see this movie playing out. Keep the first half as is. That was alright. Bryan ends up knocking up Happy, and she breaks the news to him. He pulls off the adoption list and they raise their baby together. Sure, it's too neat and simple. Real life doesn't work out this way. But at least it makes sense.

We Are the Weirdos

While I was growing up, it was kind of hard to find strong female characters to look up to. Don't get me wrong. Who doesn't love getting saved? I just really wanted some girls who could kick ass once in awhile. When I was 12, I saw The Craft for the first time, and I became obsessed with it.

Granted, these girls are not exactly someone you should be looking up to. Even the main character Sarah (Robin Tunney) doesn't exactly play nice. It was just refreshing to finally find a movie where the girls were in charge. Plus, the wardrobes were fantastic.

Pretty much the movie is just about these four young witches who have to deal with the consequences of their powers. Sarah seems to be the only one who realizes that they cannot abuse magic while the others use spells to get back at people they don't like, gain money, etc.

Even though we have the one responsible witch, she still isn't exactly a princess. Though the movie ends with her helping her dad with the groceries, it always seemed to me that now Sarah seems to be abusing magic. Then again, I could have read that wrong. Enough about Sarah, though, seriously. She always annoyed me. Let's talk about Nancy (Fairuza Balk).

I loved Nancy. Man, she was so badass. [SPOILERS AHEAD] She starts off living in a trailor with her over worked mother and her deadbeat boyfriend. As her powers grow, she manages to kill the schlub and turns out... he had a pretty big insurance policy. Kaching! Okay, so maybe she gets a little power crazy, but I truly feel sorry for her in the end. [STILL MORE SPOILERS] Sure she tried to kill Sarah, but did she deserve to be put in a mental institution? I guess this is where my love for the anti-hero started. I knew I was supposed to feel more for Sarah, but boo hoo. She was all "Feel sorry for me." while Nancy took what she wanted. Plus, she had friggin' boss boots.

As with most movies I love, The Craft isn't a masterpiece. There are alot of shots where you can see crew members. Oh, and you can tell Tunney is wearing a wig since she shaved her head for Empire Records. (I love her in that role. Still not a good female hero, however.) But it was my first exposure to kickass girls. For that, I am grateful.

Three Days Well Spent

I know! I didn't get to post yesterday. I made a promise to myself I wasn't going to be totally obsessive about posting every day, and I managed to not freak out having missed a day. (Okay, I totally did freak out.) I was a bit busy because I was hanging out with Coco and Arden. We ended up watching The Wasp Woman, and it occured to me that I've had a movie blog for a month now and I haven't written about Rober Corman yet.

Where to begin with Roger Corman. Well, he's got to have the longest IMDb page I have ever seen. To being with, he has 389 producer credits. Although he has sworn off making movies, he is still producing movies to this day, the most recent one being Sharktopus which is to air this summer. (Now I totally want to see this.)

My first Corman film, as is most people's, was Little Shop of Horrors. Corman didn't do too many horror/comedies during his career (most of his were either exploitation or scifi) but my two favourite movies of his were in this genre. I feel that he set the stage for later directors to really fine tune this vein of movies.

The first of those two films is Little Shop. I mean, it's a classic. A classic made in three days using a set that was made for another movie. I love it. Corman always was finding ways to save money. Sometimes it wasn't such a good idea, but LSOH managed to become a cult classic (using my definition of the term, of course) and is still a fantastic film to this day.

The other one is a movie that isn't as well known called Bucket of Blood. Once again, Corman is his best whilst thinking on his feet. This was another film made in less than a week using sets and props from previous films. I believe the script was written in about one day with only few rewrites. (My source being How I Made 100 Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime by Corman.)

Once again, another director that has this DIY ethic that I feel has been lost on the current genration. I said my faith was restored in modern day movies thanks to alot of fantastic children's films that are coming out. I think it's if more directors were as dedicated and that aren't just focused on getting big name talent and big time graphics, we would see more outstanding films.

God Save Me

I was actually quite excited to see Legion. I'm not usually one for end of the world type movies (unless the end of the world is coming due to zombies) but the trailer had me convinced it would be at least a decent film. I mean, they got Paul Bettany who I love. C'mon! Chaucer from A Knight's Tale? He was brillant. Oh, and you can't forget Dennis Quaid who is the man.

Unfortunately, I was incrediably disappointed with this film. It just fell flat on all accounts. The beginning was promising for a bit. [KIND OF SPOILERS AHEAD] Especially when Gladys (Jeanette Miller), the little old lady from the ad, starts cursing and climbing on the ceiling. It was pretty cool.

But for a movie that was supposed to be action packed, it was pretty talky. Sure, I perfer movies that focus on the characters' interactions with each other (see Thumbsucker) but I sat down for my annual action packed blockbuster. Instead, I was given entire passages of the characters spouting monologues about how terrible their life is. Oh, suck it up. You're all in the same boat now. You've made it this far through the apocolypse. Obviously you did something right.

I was also ticked off that the entire mythology was never really explained. Okay, we get it Michael (Bettany). The baby needs to be born to save humankind. You said it twenty thousand times. Now, could you please go into a bit more detail. It'll only take a minute, honest. Why this child? He was conceived out of wedlock. Is it him because that's like a big F.U. to God? Because then it could be pretty much any baby. I actually want to know, but instead, we had to spend 20 minutes on Sandra (Kate Walsh) mourning the loss of her husband (Jon Tenney).

To be quite blunt, there is no point to see this movie. Catholic or atheist, it's going to offend you just by sheer lack of plot. It was a waste of some great talent and potentially good scenes.

Spoiler Alert

Since I started this blog a month ago, I made a promise to make sure I alerted you to any possible spoilers. I usually have trouble keeping my mouth shut when I'm talking about movies in real life. More than once, I've accidently given away the ending of a movie to someone who hasn't seen it before.

I often have to reread my entries before posting them to make sure I haven't said something that would ruin the movie for anyone who would like to watch that movie after seeing a review I posted. Usually the only things I fix in my posts is adding [SPOILERS AHEAD].

Sure, I hate when people ruin movies for me too, but I don't get as bent out of shape as some people. I could be told something revealing in the main plotline of a movie before viewing it, and I'll still be able to enjoy it when I do get around to watching it.

I have to say, it is worse when the whole ending is known before hand. This, while my example is not exactly a spoiler, is what has caused me to never watch The Crow in full to this day. I was sleeping while some friends were watching it and woke up just in time for the end. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth watching a movie if you already know how it's going to end.

If that movie is fantastic, of course it's worth watching even if you know what is going to happen. I have to work on that feeling that it's pointless then. I know that The Crow is supposed to be a great movie. I'll get around to it eventually, but I keep putting movies that I don't know the endings too before it.

So, I give you the curtesy of adding [SPOILERS AHEAD] so that I don't ruin any of these movies for you. I know that when I rave about a movie, I'd be mad if that movie had been ruined for me by some moron blogging about them.