Moral Standards

It's a bit obvious that cinema doesn't have as high of moral standards anymore. All you have to do is pick up a recent National Lampoon movie, and you have a prime example right there. It's kind of sad that it's not really a shock to pop in a movie and have at least sexual references if not a sex scene of some sort. Oh, and you can't forget to throw in a few boobie shots to keep the guys interested. (I'm sorry. And the lesbians. Sorry girls.)

But there is a point where you have to draw the line. While I'd take a horrible scifi movie over the college humour types, Splice crossed that line. I wish I had broken my rules and read spoilers about this film before I went to the theater. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Sure, I saw that part of it's rating included sexuality and nudity, but I was expecting it between two consenting HUMANS.

I was wrong. Oh, was I wrong. Instead, I'm greeted by Clive (Adrian Brody) and Dren (Delphine Chanéac) boinking in the barn. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, let me set the scene up. The only showing of Splice still left at our theater was 9:55 PM. Coco and I enter to see only three other people there. We were just in time for the previews. The first half of the film, the theater is silent. It actually had a good start, too. Plus Dren is adorable.


(picture copyright Gaumont)

Elsa (Sarah Polley) and Clive are two scientists who have been cloning animals with several different types of DNA to discover new cures for diseases. When the company they work for won't let them incorproate human DNA, they do the experiment behind their backs and thus creating Dren. [SPOILERS AHEAD] At first, despite a few minor setbacks, Dren is doing fine. Unfortunately, she isn't happy being locked up. Oh, and she's developed a bit of a thing for "Daddy".

They had already started losing me by this point. I could tell they were going down this road, and I was silently begging them not to. As soon as the barn encounter happened, the total of five people in the audience just began squirming. I could hear sounds of disgust coming from the other viewers. I was thinking "Thank God, I'm not alone."

But yet I feel alone. Only five people. Splice is actually getting quite alot of good reviews. An A- from EW. A total of B average from entertianment magazines. One of the threads on the board called it "one of the top five horror movies of our generation". The movie isn't even horror for crying out loud. The beginning starts with a bang, and then it focusses too much on Elsa and Clive's feeling. C'mon. I want some action! Then I get it in the form of beastiality/incest.

I guess I have to give them some credit. Splice was definitely different, but it was not the scifi kick I was looking for. It felt more like porn since Dren spent a good portion of the film naked and there was a loose plot. Alot of the actual cloning process and parts of the experiment were left completely unexplained and the ending was so open ended that even I was disappointed after everything else that happened. No witty end of the entry today, folks. Just... I'm speechless again. I'd take Gigantic over this even.