There's a Difference

Today's review comes curtsey of Sonya who suggested this gem. I love when I have to go on an epic quest to get a movie, but sometimes it's worth it. Blockbuster's website did not have Splinterheads, so I ended up asking Coco to rent it on Netflix for me. She was also kind enough to sit down and watch the movie as well.

I knew I was going to enjoy the film to some extent because I have an odd love for anything dealing with carnivals and the many lifestyles revolving around them. (Did I not just mention I read Geek Love a few entries back? Cyeah.) Don't confuse splinterheads with carnies because they'll get mad. They have to honestly work for their money by wrangling in the weakest of the pack. The guy who would spend $20 to win his girlfriend a $2 teddy bear.

The film focusses on Justin (Thomas Middleditch) who gets caught up in the exciting life of a splinterhead named Galaxy (Rachael Taylor) and all the other excentric carnival workers. I know why Sonya loved it so much since Galaxy is into geocaching to keep herself occupied when she's not working the games. Justin ends up going along with her looking for one cache and I have to say it's one of the cutest scenes I've seen in awhile.


(picture copyright Atlantic Pictures (II)

Of course, I loved Christopher McDonald as Bruce just because he's awesome and has mucho indie cred. (SLC Punk, Fanboys, etc.) It seems I have once again found a film where I like the supporting cast just as much as our main players. Not more, though, unlike Vampire's Assistant. Justin and Galaxy are fantastic characters, and I would have loved to see them develop more. The concept is unique and cute though and the movie does not let up on the laughs.

The Dangerous Game

I absolutely adore FEARnet. It's a channel onDemand where you can get free horror movies. Because it's free, you get alot of really cheesy movies. It has however, introduced me to some great movies. (See the entry on Disturbing Behavoir.) Unfortunately, last night, it was not one of the rare gems we ended up watching.

Nica, Matt and I picked Blood Surf (look up Krocodylus on IMDb) since the description made it sound reminicent of The Dangerous Game. We thought some evil dude was kidnapping surfers to swim with sharks for shits and giggles. Turns out we were wrong and they were just filming some movie and didn't want "fake, plastic looking sharks" which of course, the sharks were fake and plastic looking.

The sharks weren't the worst of it though. I'm still debating whether the insane amount of nudity from "women" who I'm sure hadn't hit puberty yet or the "31" foot crocodile who can run impossibly fast yet any shot we get of him, he's lumbering around more than likely because he's being prodded along with a two by four.


(picture copyright Tapestry Pictures)

Yeah, that's the best picture I can find of this clunker. It honestly had no redeeming quality. It was good for riffing, so I guess it had that going for it. However, we've got camerawoman Cecily (Kate Fischer) who's supposedly from Austrila however her accent comes and goes and Lemmya (Maureen Larrazabal) who can't quite remember how old she really is. Oh, and her outfit was very Flinstones with some underwire. Classy, real classy.

I won't lie. I walked away for the middle part, came back and was able to guess right away what had happened. It was predictable because it's like any other horror movie that I suspect was written by a 13 year old boy. I mean, c'mon. Lots of sharp teethed "monsters", several women taking their tops off, guns, explosions, surfing, cursing... It was really bad. There really is nothing else I can say about it.

A Helping Hand

If it's a book series and has vampires in it... it's going to be made into a movie. Thank you very much Twilight craze. You have delivered unto us a living hell. There really only ever was one vampire movie I loved and that would be The Lost Boys. The best has been made; you can all stop trying now.

However, The Vampire's Assistant (the first movie based on the Cirque Du Freak series) wasn't all bad. For someone who reads alot, I have also not read this book, so I cannot compare. At least this time, it isn't a shock. I wouldn't touch books like this with a ten foot pole. Teen series? When kids my age were reading these kinds of books, I had already been introduced to David Sedaris.

Still trolling the boards, there seems to be alot of disagreement on how true to the book the movie stayed. Half say yay and half say nay. Well, I can't add my two cents there, but the movie did keep me interested. I wasn't a big fan of our leading man Darren (Chris Massoglia) at first, but he did kind of grow on me. Just a tad.


(picture copyright Universal Pictures)

I think that John C. Reilly is awesome, hands down. I do have my guilty pleasures and Walk Hard is one of them. He can make me laugh, but now I know that he can also play a (albeit slightly) more serious role. However, his extreme sarcasm had me laughing more than the actual jokes throughout the film. Oh, and of course I loved Evra the snake boy (Patrick Fugit) because I love Mr. Fugit. End of story.

To be honest, I was more fascinated by the freak show than the fight between the vampires and, uh, what were the bad ones called again? I don't even care. It's kind of lame. I would have rathered they made a movie about the freaks. Jane Krakowski was wasted as Corma Limbs, the freak whose limbs could regenerate. Is it creepy that I find this fascinating? I blame reading Geek Love at an impressionable age.

It's obvious that Universal is hoping to have a series on their hand. Let's face it: Every movie released anymore is set up to have at least on sequel. Will I be chomping at the bit to see it? Eh, I'll wait for video. It is definitely entertaining, but it still is vampires. You drink blood. You're sad because everyone you loved died. I get it. It's becoming old really fast.

Dinner Time

Yes, another children's movie. As I have said, I believe that the future in Hollywood lies in these films. The animation is incredible and the stories are so whimsical. Last night I watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and as I let on yesterday, I loved it.

I really wish I had read this book a child. I just know I would have loved it. The story is about an inventor named Flint (Bill Hader) who invents a machine to turns water into food. Due to a bit of a mishap, the machine is launched into the sky which causes it to rain food. I find Hader very funny, but he was not the only one making me laugh.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't stop laughing the whole movie. Anna Faris, even in a cartoon, plays her usual type of character: a girl who is actually smart but can be a bit ditsy. Mr. T as Earl the cop and Bruce Campbell as the Mayor were both surprisingly fantastic. I would never have imagined either of them in a children's movie, but it worked so well.


(picture copyright Columbia Pictures)

Steve the monkey (Neil Patrick Harris) was the best character though. He plays a very small role seeing as how his vocabulary is limited to his name, colours, foods and a few other easy words. Yet, he definitely gets the most laughs. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I knew that there had to be something with the gummi bears as Steve keeps requesting Flint to make some. At the end, when he eats the live gummi bears attacking Flying Car 2, I was in hysterics.

It is a good decade to be a kid. Not that I have anything against the movies I had growing up as a kid (I'll always love you Aladdin!) but I'm a bit jealous of this generation. As much as I dissed the 3D craze, it is making all this animated films come out in alarming rates, yet they are all fantastic. I am eagerly awaiting the next kid's film.

Magically Surprised

I have seriously been slacking on my blog, I know. Don't you fret, though. (My total of 8 followers and any other random person who somehow stumbles upon here.) I watched two movies today, so you get one review now and another tomorrow. Isn't that great news? Oh, and I have spoilers for you. Both reviews are good. So no complaining from me.

Well, there is some complaining. I know I should stop reading the boards on IMDb. People there are ruder than I am. (And I'm pretty dang rude.) Granted, The Sorcerer's Apprentince is not the best film of the year. I enjoyed it though. Don't go to the board's if you're thinking of seeing this film. There are some unbiased and accurate reviews on the main page.

Everyone is mostly saying that the casting choice for Dave (Jay Baruchel) was off. Oh, and that no one can stand his voice. Okay, first of all, I just freaking love Jay Baruchel. I first saw him in Fanboys, and I was in love. I mostly went to see this because he was in it. Would I have seen it if he wasn't? Probably because I love kid films. (Yes, I know I've said it a bajillion times.)


(picture copyright Walt Disney Pictures)

My Mr. Baruchel obsession aside, I think he did a fantastic job. The nerds are taking over the world and he is one of our own! [SPOILERS AHEAD] Well, Dave goes beyond nerd. He actually is smart. I was a bit mad that it was a kid's movie for a bit because they never let him go into much detail concerning his Tesla project. I wanted to know! Science confuses me, and I wanted to learn.

The movie was fast paced, but you can see Dave maturing and getting a hold on his powers. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I highly enjoyed the homage to the Fantasia scene with the mops. It was definitely well done, and I think they truly made it this movie's own with the added danger of the electrical equipment in the room. I also did like Nicolas Cage. I'm still not sure why I like him, but I do. He's got... spunk.

Apprentince is a great family film. While I still think that Pixar dominates children's films, Disney definitely gave it their best shot to counter that. The effects are good, there are a few laughs, and it's an enjoyable story. What else could you ask from a summer flick?

Antihero Wins Again

Yes, I know I rant on and on about how I love a good antihero. It's also common knowledge I absolutely adore children's films. Some of my favourite movies that have come out in the past year were all animated films (Up!, How to Train Your Dragon, etc.) So, needless to say, I went to see Despicable Me yesterday.

While Despicable cannot hold a candle to Up! which is more than likely the most heart wrenching and beautiful movie I have seen in years, it definitely was a gem of a film. I love seeing kid's movies in theaters because there is no better soundtrack than the children's reactions. The whole movie, I could hear giggles galore.


(picture copyright Illumination Entertainment)

The plot could be described as preditable, but what movie doesn't follow the sterotypes of the genre anymore? I still felt that it was a wonderful story for a kid's film, but that's not the best part. Being the nerd I am, I have to rave about the casting. Steve Carell is hilarious, and I can admit this despite hating The Office. I still love him in Little Miss Sunshine; he made that movie. Jason Segel stole the show though as Vector. He had me in stiches.

I loved the animation immensely. Gru's (Carell) house is absolutely brillant. I would love to live there. Not more than the house in Help! but if that's not available for sale when I move out, Gru's house is a good second choice. Of course, I fell in love with Agnes (Elsie Fisher). She's so adorable and has an understanding far beyond her years. Plus, I can't stop saying "It's so fluffy!" thanks to seeing the ads at least 20 times a day.

It seems that the biggest hope for Hollywood these days are children's films, and I'm glad. These movies are even surpassing movies that I grew up with and I can't wait to see more.

Harry Potter's Girlfriend

I love it when I find gems like this. Well, this time half the credit goes to my mother. We were shopping for Father's Days gifts, and by shopping for Dad, I mean we were shopping for ourselves just as much. We found this movie whilst searching the DVD section, and just had to buy it. It starred Tim Curry and Diana Rig, and we were overjoyed at the overall cheesiness on the cover.

Doing a bit of research (as per usual) it turns out this movie (as well as a TV series launched in 1998) is based on a book series by Jill Murphy. The similarities between WW and Harry Potter are so wonderful. Mom and I both shouted at the same time "J.K. totally watched this back in '86." Sure, the whole idea of a witchcraft school wasn't made up by either Murphy or Rowling, but plot wise, it's eerily similar.


(picture copyright Central Independent Television)

I failed to nice when we picked the movie up was that our leading lady Mildred Hubble was played by Fairuza Balk who would go on to play another witch, Nancy in The Craft. Needless to say, most of my riffs were focused on that.

Miss Cackle: So Mildred, what can I do for you?
Mildred Hubble: Miss Hardbroom sent me.
Miss Cackle: Oh dear. What happened this time?
Me: I tried to kill my best friend.

Not that funny, I know. So, the movie definitely was cheesy, no doubt about it. As my dad put it, the effects were very Doctor Who. (Not the new episodes, mind you. David makes a convincing time lord.) The flying sequences were absolutely horrendous; I couldn't stop laughing. I did love it immensely. The songs made me a bit uncomfortable though.

Tim Curry's Grand Wizard ends up singing his own song at the Halloween Bash the school is holding. My mom and I were like, "It sounds like he's making the lyrics up on the spot." At one point, he pulls out a tambourine while singing 'Has anyone seen my tambourine?' Absolutely bonkers. (Watch the video here.)

Of course, Mildred ends up saving the day, despite constantly being disciplined by Miss Hardbroom (Rig) and being teased by fellow classmates such as Ethel Hallow (Anna Kipling). [SPOILERS AHEAD] She manages to put behind her the comments that she cannot perform magic and turns the evil witches planning to overtake the school into snails, and does so in one hour. I felt a bit jipped, but I was glad to see that her adventures continued in the TV series. I'm glad that she wasn't the worst witch for long.

Kids These Days

IMDb is stalking me. Seriously. I pull up the page for Youth in Revolot and the suggestions at the bottom of the page are Adventureland, The Whackness and Running with Scissors. It's stalking me and what movies I watch. Looks like I gotta install a security system on my house.

Oh yeah, so, I did finally get around to seeing Youth in Revolt. Quick review says it was well worth the wait. I'm afraid that I have still not read the book (It's on my ever growing list, I swear!) so I cannot compare it. I found it extremely funny, though. While I don't mind watching raunchy comedies, I usually will laugh my butt off but not fall in love with the film. However, YIR deals with a male teen's look at sex in a more dignified (Is it even possible to use dignified and a horny male teen in the same sentence?) manner.


(picture copyright Dimension Films)

My one problem with the film is that there are so many fantastic minor characters I would have loved to see more of. Fred Willard as Nick's (Michael Cera) neighbor Mr. Ferguson was fantastic in what little screen time he had. Then again, I just might be partial because it's frickin' Fred Willard people! I also enjoyed Nick's best friend Lefty (Erik Knudsen) who had me in stiches. Probably because alot of my friends sound just like him when they pine over the object of their affection.

[SPOILERS AHEAD] I have looked this up on the boards, and I have to feel like my reputation can stay in tact because the whole movie I was convinced that Trent (Jonathan B. Wright) was a fake boyfriend. Apparently in the book, Trent has a much bigger role, but I do enjoy the joke that Nick believed Sheeni (Portia Doubleday) was making up her boyfriend, so he made up an equally ridiculous girlfriend. So, I didn't see that coming, but while the ending does have boy getting girl, I was thourghly satisfied.

I do have to go off on a little tangent, though. (Don't I always?) I should just stop reading the message boards before doing these reviews. Well, at least the threads that are titled I guess name-dropping passes as clever dialogue these days. Everyone is saying things such as this movie isn't believable because teenagers do not talk this way. So, just because we're young we cannot be intelligent? I'm getting seriously tired of this; I get enough of it in real life. Three years ago I was the same age as the character Nick. I definitely am not the brightest bulb, but I was in the top third of my class. I wrote for my school paper. Yet, I also did the usual stupid stuff a teen does. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Granted, I don't listen to Frank Sinatra and I didn't set fire to my mom's car, but that's only because I perfer rock and my mom doesn't drive. Give us kids a chance. We do know what we're talking about and we can make some darn good movies.