Don't Turn Out the Lights

Recently, alot of horror movie classics have been remade. It seems that people believe the new effects are going to improve the stories. I don't want new effects. I miss when blood was slightly pink instead of red. I miss monsters who had to sit through four hours of make up instead of wearing a green screen suit and being edited on the computer later.

I was able to deal with Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I was never a huge fan of the original. I did quite enjoy the scene when they enter the room with all the bones everywhere. That was good and creepy. I was totally fine with The Hills Have Eyes. I hated the first one, and I hated the remake. I started to get a bit peeved when they did Halloween. Rob Zombie stayed true to the original, but it seems pointless then.

I, however, lost my cool when they remade Friday the 13th. I refused to go see, and then I find out from a friend that it's not even an actual remake. [SPOILERS AHEAD] The killer is Jason who, we all know, didn't show up until the second film. His mother, Mrs. Vorhees, was the killer in the first one.

If you're going to destroy a perfectly good movie, at least get your monster's legend right. Sheesh. Turns out the only things they kept was the setting (which is pretty much the same in all Jason movies) and a couple of the deaths. That's just proposterous! It just can't be the same without Kevin Bacon, bad lighting and big hair.

This, however... This is the final straw. Next summer, the Nightmare on Elm Street remake is to hit teathers. NOOOOO!!!! I love that movie so much. It is hands down my favourite horror film. (Not counting Hard Candy. It is tough to say is that truly horror, thriller, or just in a league of it's own.) Only Robert Englund can be Freddy Kruegar. I don't like this new guy. Apparently he played Rorschach in Watchmen. Big deal. That doesn't make you qualified to don the hat of horror's most recognizable (and incrediably scary) face.

[SPOILERS AHEAD] NOES just simply cannot be remade. There is nothing to improve on. The scene where Johnny Depp is pulled into his bed and then enough blood for at least 20 bodies comes spurting out is priceless. Most definitely best death scene in horror history. I can't wait to see how they ruin that.

I think that Hollywood needs to stop with the remakes again. Is there truly no more original ideas out there? Horror movies aren't that hard to write. That's why there were so many coming out during the 70's and 80's. They were quick to write and made enough to turn a profit and start work on the next one. (Or two or thirty.) If they are so desperate for the next big movie monster, instead of creating a new face for Freddy, try making up your own. We all fear something. Use it. And leave my Freddy alone.