My Sincere Apologies

I'm quite sorry that I haven't been keeping up with this blog recently. I know that when I did't have a new movie to review or something to do with movies to rant about, I'd at least talk about an older movie. I just haven't been feeling very witty recently.

I've been having a "family emergency" in the most literal sense. I'm not going to go into details, but let's just say that I have other things on my mind. I promise that alot of awesome reviews will be coming up soon. I'm planning on seeing Inception soon and Scott Pilgrim is coming out next weekend. I promise I'll start this blog back up by then.

Until then, I am sorry to those who actually read this (which I know isn't many, but you deserve an explanation) and I hope that some Matthew Gray Gubler and a cute puppy can cheer you up.


(picture via fanpop)

There's a Difference

Today's review comes curtsey of Sonya who suggested this gem. I love when I have to go on an epic quest to get a movie, but sometimes it's worth it. Blockbuster's website did not have Splinterheads, so I ended up asking Coco to rent it on Netflix for me. She was also kind enough to sit down and watch the movie as well.

I knew I was going to enjoy the film to some extent because I have an odd love for anything dealing with carnivals and the many lifestyles revolving around them. (Did I not just mention I read Geek Love a few entries back? Cyeah.) Don't confuse splinterheads with carnies because they'll get mad. They have to honestly work for their money by wrangling in the weakest of the pack. The guy who would spend $20 to win his girlfriend a $2 teddy bear.

The film focusses on Justin (Thomas Middleditch) who gets caught up in the exciting life of a splinterhead named Galaxy (Rachael Taylor) and all the other excentric carnival workers. I know why Sonya loved it so much since Galaxy is into geocaching to keep herself occupied when she's not working the games. Justin ends up going along with her looking for one cache and I have to say it's one of the cutest scenes I've seen in awhile.


(picture copyright Atlantic Pictures (II)

Of course, I loved Christopher McDonald as Bruce just because he's awesome and has mucho indie cred. (SLC Punk, Fanboys, etc.) It seems I have once again found a film where I like the supporting cast just as much as our main players. Not more, though, unlike Vampire's Assistant. Justin and Galaxy are fantastic characters, and I would have loved to see them develop more. The concept is unique and cute though and the movie does not let up on the laughs.

The Dangerous Game

I absolutely adore FEARnet. It's a channel onDemand where you can get free horror movies. Because it's free, you get alot of really cheesy movies. It has however, introduced me to some great movies. (See the entry on Disturbing Behavoir.) Unfortunately, last night, it was not one of the rare gems we ended up watching.

Nica, Matt and I picked Blood Surf (look up Krocodylus on IMDb) since the description made it sound reminicent of The Dangerous Game. We thought some evil dude was kidnapping surfers to swim with sharks for shits and giggles. Turns out we were wrong and they were just filming some movie and didn't want "fake, plastic looking sharks" which of course, the sharks were fake and plastic looking.

The sharks weren't the worst of it though. I'm still debating whether the insane amount of nudity from "women" who I'm sure hadn't hit puberty yet or the "31" foot crocodile who can run impossibly fast yet any shot we get of him, he's lumbering around more than likely because he's being prodded along with a two by four.


(picture copyright Tapestry Pictures)

Yeah, that's the best picture I can find of this clunker. It honestly had no redeeming quality. It was good for riffing, so I guess it had that going for it. However, we've got camerawoman Cecily (Kate Fischer) who's supposedly from Austrila however her accent comes and goes and Lemmya (Maureen Larrazabal) who can't quite remember how old she really is. Oh, and her outfit was very Flinstones with some underwire. Classy, real classy.

I won't lie. I walked away for the middle part, came back and was able to guess right away what had happened. It was predictable because it's like any other horror movie that I suspect was written by a 13 year old boy. I mean, c'mon. Lots of sharp teethed "monsters", several women taking their tops off, guns, explosions, surfing, cursing... It was really bad. There really is nothing else I can say about it.

A Helping Hand

If it's a book series and has vampires in it... it's going to be made into a movie. Thank you very much Twilight craze. You have delivered unto us a living hell. There really only ever was one vampire movie I loved and that would be The Lost Boys. The best has been made; you can all stop trying now.

However, The Vampire's Assistant (the first movie based on the Cirque Du Freak series) wasn't all bad. For someone who reads alot, I have also not read this book, so I cannot compare. At least this time, it isn't a shock. I wouldn't touch books like this with a ten foot pole. Teen series? When kids my age were reading these kinds of books, I had already been introduced to David Sedaris.

Still trolling the boards, there seems to be alot of disagreement on how true to the book the movie stayed. Half say yay and half say nay. Well, I can't add my two cents there, but the movie did keep me interested. I wasn't a big fan of our leading man Darren (Chris Massoglia) at first, but he did kind of grow on me. Just a tad.


(picture copyright Universal Pictures)

I think that John C. Reilly is awesome, hands down. I do have my guilty pleasures and Walk Hard is one of them. He can make me laugh, but now I know that he can also play a (albeit slightly) more serious role. However, his extreme sarcasm had me laughing more than the actual jokes throughout the film. Oh, and of course I loved Evra the snake boy (Patrick Fugit) because I love Mr. Fugit. End of story.

To be honest, I was more fascinated by the freak show than the fight between the vampires and, uh, what were the bad ones called again? I don't even care. It's kind of lame. I would have rathered they made a movie about the freaks. Jane Krakowski was wasted as Corma Limbs, the freak whose limbs could regenerate. Is it creepy that I find this fascinating? I blame reading Geek Love at an impressionable age.

It's obvious that Universal is hoping to have a series on their hand. Let's face it: Every movie released anymore is set up to have at least on sequel. Will I be chomping at the bit to see it? Eh, I'll wait for video. It is definitely entertaining, but it still is vampires. You drink blood. You're sad because everyone you loved died. I get it. It's becoming old really fast.

Dinner Time

Yes, another children's movie. As I have said, I believe that the future in Hollywood lies in these films. The animation is incredible and the stories are so whimsical. Last night I watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, and as I let on yesterday, I loved it.

I really wish I had read this book a child. I just know I would have loved it. The story is about an inventor named Flint (Bill Hader) who invents a machine to turns water into food. Due to a bit of a mishap, the machine is launched into the sky which causes it to rain food. I find Hader very funny, but he was not the only one making me laugh.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't stop laughing the whole movie. Anna Faris, even in a cartoon, plays her usual type of character: a girl who is actually smart but can be a bit ditsy. Mr. T as Earl the cop and Bruce Campbell as the Mayor were both surprisingly fantastic. I would never have imagined either of them in a children's movie, but it worked so well.


(picture copyright Columbia Pictures)

Steve the monkey (Neil Patrick Harris) was the best character though. He plays a very small role seeing as how his vocabulary is limited to his name, colours, foods and a few other easy words. Yet, he definitely gets the most laughs. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I knew that there had to be something with the gummi bears as Steve keeps requesting Flint to make some. At the end, when he eats the live gummi bears attacking Flying Car 2, I was in hysterics.

It is a good decade to be a kid. Not that I have anything against the movies I had growing up as a kid (I'll always love you Aladdin!) but I'm a bit jealous of this generation. As much as I dissed the 3D craze, it is making all this animated films come out in alarming rates, yet they are all fantastic. I am eagerly awaiting the next kid's film.

Magically Surprised

I have seriously been slacking on my blog, I know. Don't you fret, though. (My total of 8 followers and any other random person who somehow stumbles upon here.) I watched two movies today, so you get one review now and another tomorrow. Isn't that great news? Oh, and I have spoilers for you. Both reviews are good. So no complaining from me.

Well, there is some complaining. I know I should stop reading the boards on IMDb. People there are ruder than I am. (And I'm pretty dang rude.) Granted, The Sorcerer's Apprentince is not the best film of the year. I enjoyed it though. Don't go to the board's if you're thinking of seeing this film. There are some unbiased and accurate reviews on the main page.

Everyone is mostly saying that the casting choice for Dave (Jay Baruchel) was off. Oh, and that no one can stand his voice. Okay, first of all, I just freaking love Jay Baruchel. I first saw him in Fanboys, and I was in love. I mostly went to see this because he was in it. Would I have seen it if he wasn't? Probably because I love kid films. (Yes, I know I've said it a bajillion times.)


(picture copyright Walt Disney Pictures)

My Mr. Baruchel obsession aside, I think he did a fantastic job. The nerds are taking over the world and he is one of our own! [SPOILERS AHEAD] Well, Dave goes beyond nerd. He actually is smart. I was a bit mad that it was a kid's movie for a bit because they never let him go into much detail concerning his Tesla project. I wanted to know! Science confuses me, and I wanted to learn.

The movie was fast paced, but you can see Dave maturing and getting a hold on his powers. [SPOILERS AHEAD] I highly enjoyed the homage to the Fantasia scene with the mops. It was definitely well done, and I think they truly made it this movie's own with the added danger of the electrical equipment in the room. I also did like Nicolas Cage. I'm still not sure why I like him, but I do. He's got... spunk.

Apprentince is a great family film. While I still think that Pixar dominates children's films, Disney definitely gave it their best shot to counter that. The effects are good, there are a few laughs, and it's an enjoyable story. What else could you ask from a summer flick?